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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys

#parents #children #toys
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Many kids' mummies purchase huge
toys
Use synonyms
 for entertainment.
This
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 essay Will examine the advantages and disadvantages of games and provide a logical conclusion. The main positive ideas of children's gifts are saving them from the bad things and making them cheerful.
Moreover
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, if children are busy with their trinkets that will lead them to avoid dangerous ways .
For instance
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, these days the worst ideas could be acquired easily either by access to unsafely sites or contact with poor friends.
In addition
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, the second benefit is that
toys
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 make offspring happy which means simply they can avoid stress and other mental diseases.
However
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, youthful'
toys
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 have a lot of pros
such
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 as wasting offspring's
time
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 and isolating them from their society. What is more, rather than spend their
time
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 reading or learning new things like another language, kids lose their
time
Use synonyms
 playing. Without any doubt, that will make them silly
in addition
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 to reducing their mental abilities.
Besides
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, kids who are spending whole their
time
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 playing ought to be unsolicited.
For instance
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, nowadays, the real contact between individuals is fewer
in contrast
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 to the situation in the past.
To sum up
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,
as well as
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toys
Use synonyms
 save pupils in unknown ways and
also
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 lead them to waste their
time
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 on invaluable issues. I believe that the disadvantages of the
toys
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 outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on

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task achievement
Ensure you address the task directly and clearly express your position on the topic. Your introduction should more distinctly frame your argument, while the conclusion should summarize your points effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to develop your ideas fully. Each paragraph should explore an advantage or disadvantage in depth, supported by specific examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical organization of your essay. Your ideas should flow from one to the next seamlessly, using linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your discussion.
general
Be cautious with informal language and abbreviations (e.g., 'kids,' 'mummies'). Aim for formal academic language throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure more to enhance readability and convey your points more effectively. This helps maintain the reader's interest and clarifies your argument.
general
Review grammar and punctuation rules to minimize errors, which can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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