Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some would argue that it is necessary for the government to give financial aid to artists,

while

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others believe that

this

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money

Use synonyms

should be used on other projects.

While

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funding artists

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

in the cultural preservation of the country, I believe that the state should redistribute the funds to education. On the one hand, government spending on painters and sculptors is usually based on the belief that arts help with the cultural preservation of the country. Supporting them ensures that the tradition, heritage and uniqueness of the community are kept alive.

For instance

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, most provinces in the Philippines have festivals in order to celebrate their traditions and the local officials provide the funds. Without their help, these events will not happen.

However

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, I believe that

this

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is not the best way to spend the taxpayer's

money

Use synonyms

On the other hand

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, government officials should allocate

money

Use synonyms

to improving the educational system of the nation. Lack of education is a huge problem in society and it has led to other issues

such

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as unemployment. Redistribution of wealth to improve the educational system can help decrease the educational gap in rich countries.

For instance

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, they can put more budget into building science and computer laboratories in public schools. By doing

this

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, students will be more globally competitive.

Thus

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, I believe that it is more worthwhile for the state to spend

money

Use synonyms

on improving the literacy rate of the citizens. In conclusion,

although

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helping those who are working in the arts can help preserve the culture of the nation, there are more serious issues in society that need to be addressed.

Thus

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, I believe that funding the education of people is the best way to utilize public funds.

yoko.oneromThu Feb 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow of the essay by ensuring that each paragraph seamlessly connects to the next. Use linking words and phrases to enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

Work on a clearer introduction and conclusion. The introduction should more precisely outline the essay's perspective and the conclusion should strongly restate this stance.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more elaborate examples and evidence. While you have provided some instances, deeper and more detailed explanations would enhance the essay's persuasiveness.

task achievement

Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. While you've discussed both views and provided your opinion, elaborating more on why you favor one over the other with additional reasoning would strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear, but providing more comprehensive explanations and examples will bring more depth to your essay. Try to elaborate on the implications and significance of your arguments.

task achievement

Use more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. General statements are a good start, but particular instances and evidence make your case stronger and more convincing.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote
culture
creativity
economic growth
tourism
social development
personal development
merit
financial support
balanced
transparent

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Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that advertising has positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because it will make people feel dissatisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Research indicates that nowadays some consumers are much less influenced by advertising than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this?Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages?

Some educationalists argue that non-exam, arts-based subjects, such as music, drama, art and craft, should be compulsory in the secondary curriculum. They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance. To what extent do you agree or disagree?