Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly. However, many of them do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons? What can be done to encourage them to exercise more?

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The older
people
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become, the more important integrating exercises into daily life is. Agreeing with
this
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idea, many doctors around the globe spur elderly
people
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to
exercise
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.
However
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, the elderly tend to fail to incorporate enough
exercise
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into their lives for the following major two reasons: inadequate time for working out and a lack of knowledge about how to
exercise
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. In order to address these primary reasons, reducing their working
hours
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and informing them of appropriate methods would be crucial. Nowadays, elderly
people
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have still full-time jobs, which usually require them to work for their companies for at least 40
hours
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weekly. Considering their age, it is not feasible for them to engage in regular
exercise
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after working shifts. By the time they clock out, they will have been worn out, resulting in not having sufficient energy to go for a brisk walk or run.
Furthermore
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, in most cases, doctors recommend that older
people
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run or go to a gym session, which does not suit their age. Since these types of exercises essentially need a considerable amount of stamina to complete, it is extremely difficult for them to take up any of them on a regular basis. So as to facilitate the elderly’s commitment to
exercise
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, there would be two chief approaches considered, one of which is to cut their working
hours
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.
Although
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this
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may require the companies’ understanding
as well as
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government intervention, it will be significantly effective. If they were to only devote themselves to working for 30
hours
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per week. it would provide them with more room to allocate for working out.
Additionally
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, it is crucial for doctors to make suggestions based on their age, interests, and physical levels.
For instance
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, some exercises that can be done at home or are aligned with their hobbies could amplify their commitment to engagement in a workout.
Thus
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, personalised methods would be more appealing to many elderly. In conclusion, I argue that working commitment as full-time workers and a lack of knowledge hinder older
people
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from engaging in
exercise
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.
However
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, these will be potentially resolved by reducing their working
hours
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as well as
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instilling more attractive methods regarding
exercise
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.
Submitted by artical5er7 on

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Task Achievement
Consider adding more varied examples to enrich your essay and better illustrate your points regarding the reasons older people do not exercise and ways to encourage them.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Consider the wider implications of your suggestions, such as the societal and health benefits of encouraging older people to exercise.
Coherence & Cohesion
For better coherence, link your paragraphs more explicitly. Use words or phrases that clearly connect your ideas and arguments throughout the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs. This could include synonyms, antonyms, and phrases that indicate contrasts or comparisons.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • motivation
  • physical limitations
  • lack of time
  • fear of injury
  • exercise facilities
  • misunderstanding
  • benefits of exercise
  • social support
  • poor health conditions
  • awareness
  • appropriate exercises
  • guidance
  • financial constraints
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