Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly. However, many of them do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons? What can be done to encourage them to exercise more?
The older
people
become, the more important integrating exercises into daily life is. Agreeing with this
idea, many doctors around the globe spur elderly people
to exercise
. However
, the elderly tend to fail to incorporate enough exercise
into their lives for the following major two reasons: inadequate time for working out and a lack of knowledge about how to exercise
. In order to address these primary reasons, reducing their working hours
and informing them of appropriate methods would be crucial.
Nowadays, elderly people
have still full-time jobs, which usually require them to work for their companies for at least 40 hours
weekly. Considering their age, it is not feasible for them to engage in regular exercise
after working shifts. By the time they clock out, they will have been worn out, resulting in not having sufficient energy to go for a brisk walk or run. Furthermore
, in most cases, doctors recommend that older people
run or go to a gym session, which does not suit their age. Since these types of exercises essentially need a considerable amount of stamina to complete, it is extremely difficult for them to take up any of them on a regular basis.
So as to facilitate the elderly’s commitment to exercise
, there would be two chief approaches considered, one of which is to cut their working hours
. Although
this
may require the companies’ understanding as well as
government intervention, it will be significantly effective. If they were to only devote themselves to working for 30 hours
per week. it would provide them with more room to allocate for working out. Additionally
, it is crucial for doctors to make suggestions based on their age, interests, and physical levels. For instance
, some exercises that can be done at home or are aligned with their hobbies could amplify their commitment to engagement in a workout. Thus
, personalised methods would be more appealing to many elderly.
In conclusion, I argue that working commitment as full-time workers and a lack of knowledge hinder older people
from engaging in exercise
. However
, these will be potentially resolved by reducing their working hours
as well as
instilling more attractive methods regarding exercise
.Submitted by artical5er7 on
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Task Achievement
Consider adding more varied examples to enrich your essay and better illustrate your points regarding the reasons older people do not exercise and ways to encourage them.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Consider the wider implications of your suggestions, such as the societal and health benefits of encouraging older people to exercise.
Coherence & Cohesion
For better coherence, link your paragraphs more explicitly. Use words or phrases that clearly connect your ideas and arguments throughout the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs. This could include synonyms, antonyms, and phrases that indicate contrasts or comparisons.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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