in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think it is a positive or negative situation?

In some parts of the world, it is crucial for
people
to dwell in their own homes
instead
of renting a
house
. Aspiration to have an estate mainly stems from the unpredictiveness of the economic situation. In my point of view, it has both pros and cons.
Firstly
, when government do not enable
people
to foresee their financial situation later in life,
people
become even more concerned about their lives. Thereby, they are prone to set some money aside to purchase an estate.
For instance
, in Turkey with the economic crisis,
people
have started to apply
banks
Change preposition
to banks
show examples
to get credit for owning a
house
.
Additionally
,
evidencing
Replace the word
evidence
show examples
in someone’s
house
brings a sense of anxiety
due to
the uncertainty of the renter’s behaviours. In economically tough periods, homeowners tend to increase their monthly rents.
However
, eagerness to own an estate leads to a lot of difficulties
such
as rising costs. from the economic perspective of view, with the increasing numbers of demand interest of credits are more likely to rise.
Therefore
, the economy of the country might be even more vulnerable to economic movements.
Moreover
, it is unrealistic for all
people
to have their own homes. These types of endeavours expand
people
’s horizons . They solely engage in their budget and how to be able to gain even more revenue to fulfil their desires to buy a
house
.
To conclude
,
although
it can be understood to
people
’s financial concerns about the future, it could not be beneficial for public welfare
due to
the possibility of adverse effects on gross domestic product. In my opinion,
this
case can be examined as both negative and positive.
Submitted by aleynacanacikel on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part should play its role effectively with the introduction setting the stage, the body elaborating on your points with examples, and the conclusion summarizing your argument coherently.
task achievement
Work on developing your main ideas further. While you have provided relevant examples, diving deeper into how these examples support your argument could strengthen your essay. Consider using more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more vividly.
task achievement
Be consistent with your terminology. For instance, 'estate' usually refers to a large area of land owned by one person or organization, which might not be what you intended when discussing home ownership. Using precise and accurate language will make your argument clearer.
coherence cohesion
Revise the essay for minor grammatical errors and typos to ensure clarity and professionalism in your writing. While these errors are minimal, paying attention to detail can improve the overall quality of your essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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