IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think it is a positive or negative situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some parts of the world, it is crucial for
people
Use synonyms
 to dwell in their own homes
instead
Linking Words
 of renting a
house
Use synonyms
. Aspiration to have an estate mainly stems from the unpredictiveness of the economic situation. In my point of view, it has both pros and cons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when government do not enable
people
Use synonyms
 to foresee their financial situation later in life,
people
Use synonyms
 become even more concerned about their lives. Thereby, they are prone to set some money aside to purchase an estate.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Turkey with the economic crisis,
people
Use synonyms
 have started to apply
banks
Change preposition
to banks
show examples
 to get credit for owning a
house
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
evidencing
Replace the word
evidence
show examples
 in someone’s
house
Use synonyms
 brings a sense of anxiety
due to
Linking Words
 the uncertainty of the renter’s behaviours. In economically tough periods, homeowners tend to increase their monthly rents.
However
Linking Words
, eagerness to own an estate leads to a lot of difficulties
such
Linking Words
 as rising costs. from the economic perspective of view, with the increasing numbers of demand interest of credits are more likely to rise.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the economy of the country might be even more vulnerable to economic movements.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is unrealistic for all
people
Use synonyms
 to have their own homes. These types of endeavours expand
people
Use synonyms
’s horizons . They solely engage in their budget and how to be able to gain even more revenue to fulfil their desires to buy a
house
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 it can be understood to
people
Use synonyms
’s financial concerns about the future, it could not be beneficial for public welfare
due to
Linking Words
 the possibility of adverse effects on gross domestic product. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 case can be examined as both negative and positive.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part should play its role effectively with the introduction setting the stage, the body elaborating on your points with examples, and the conclusion summarizing your argument coherently.
task achievement
Work on developing your main ideas further. While you have provided relevant examples, diving deeper into how these examples support your argument could strengthen your essay. Consider using more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more vividly.
task achievement
Be consistent with your terminology. For instance, 'estate' usually refers to a large area of land owned by one person or organization, which might not be what you intended when discussing home ownership. Using precise and accurate language will make your argument clearer.
coherence cohesion
Revise the essay for minor grammatical errors and typos to ensure clarity and professionalism in your writing. While these errors are minimal, paying attention to detail can improve the overall quality of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: