Some people believe that companies should be allowed to collect data about customers freely, while others believe this practice should be restricted. Discuss both sides of this issue.

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Recently, there have been conflicting views on whether enterprises should be inhibited from performing data mining on their consumers. Several argue they can do

this

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practice easily,

whereas

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others think it should be banned.

This

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essay will discuss the reasons for both views, which are the growth of revenues and the rise of fraud cases involving endangered customers. On one hand, one potential benefit of collecting client information is that businesses may improve their profits.

This

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due to

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the fact that the information can be used to learn about customer behaviour which is useful for product development and increasing sales.

For example

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, Facebook's meta-advertisement platform can learn about their users' activities and preferences and provide these details to advertisers, allowing them to create more targeted campaigns.

As a result

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, a number of successful marketing campaigns have been launched, and

this

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practice attracts firms to put their commercials on Facebook and enhance their earnings by millions of dollars annually.

On the other hand

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, the drawback of

this

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behaviour is the risk of malicious conduct, particularly data breaches.

In other words

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, every company stores its files on servers that hackers can illegally access in order to gain an advantage.

For instance

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, Tokopedia, one of the three biggest online marketplaces in Indonesia, discovered that a group of hackers accessed their buyer records unlawfully

last

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year, selling them on the dark web, which is a forbidden platform on the internet, for a billion rupiah. In conclusion,

although

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individual detail gathering can increase the business' sales,

this

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behaviour may risk client privacy induced by security breaches. I believe the government should take steps to help cooperation's growth and maintain a secure information system for its citizens.

ru.kabiru.biruFri Mar 01 2024

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task response

To further improve Task Response, ensure your response thoroughly addresses all parts of the task. You provided a balanced view but could deepen your exploration of the implications of each viewpoint. Consider offering more nuanced insights or exploring the ethical considerations behind data collection practices.

coherence cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, work on smoother transitions between ideas. While your essay is well-structured, improving the flow from one idea to the next can make your argument more convincing. Consider using more varied transitional phrases to bridge paragraphs and points more seamlessly.

task response

Enhance your practical examples to include a broader range of evidence. While you provided specific examples, incorporating studies, statistics, or more varied real-life cases could strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

personalized
targeted
advertising
improved
products
services
efficient
decision-making
invasion
privacy
misuse
security
risks
manipulation
discrimination
consent
control
regulation
innovation
balance
convenience
implementing
protection
transparency
accountability
ethical

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Some people believe that companies should be allowed to collect data about customers freely, while others believe this practice should be restricted. Discuss both sides of this issue.

Your opinion

If people could choose between a life without working or a life spending too much time working, people would choose a life without work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

bicycle is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport why is it still not popular at many places? what a can be done to increase popularity of cycling ?

the working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or a sporting event) Is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?