Some people believe that companies should be allowed to collect data about customers freely, while others believe this practice should be restricted. Discuss both sides of this issue.
Recently, there have been conflicting views on whether enterprises should be inhibited from performing data mining on their consumers. Several argue they can do
this
practice easily, whereas
others think it should be banned. This
essay will discuss the reasons for both views, which are the growth of revenues and the rise of fraud cases involving endangered customers.
On one hand, one potential benefit of collecting client information is that businesses may improve their profits. This
is due to
the fact that the information can be used to learn about customer behaviour which is useful for product development and increasing sales. For example
, Facebook's meta-advertisement platform can learn about their users' activities and preferences and provide these details to advertisers, allowing them to create more targeted campaigns. As a result
, a number of successful marketing campaigns have been launched, and this
practice attracts firms to put their commercials on Facebook and enhance their earnings by millions of dollars annually.
On the other hand
, the drawback of this
behaviour is the risk of malicious conduct, particularly data breaches. In other words
, every company stores its files on servers that hackers can illegally access in order to gain an advantage. For instance
, Tokopedia, one of the three biggest online marketplaces in Indonesia, discovered that a group of hackers accessed their buyer records unlawfully last
year, selling them on the dark web, which is a forbidden platform on the internet, for a billion rupiah.
In conclusion, although
individual detail gathering can increase the business' sales, this
behaviour may risk client privacy induced by security breaches. I believe the government should take steps to help cooperation's growth and maintain a secure information system for its citizens.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task response
To further improve Task Response, ensure your response thoroughly addresses all parts of the task. You provided a balanced view but could deepen your exploration of the implications of each viewpoint. Consider offering more nuanced insights or exploring the ethical considerations behind data collection practices.
coherence cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, work on smoother transitions between ideas. While your essay is well-structured, improving the flow from one idea to the next can make your argument more convincing. Consider using more varied transitional phrases to bridge paragraphs and points more seamlessly.
task response
Enhance your practical examples to include a broader range of evidence. While you provided specific examples, incorporating studies, statistics, or more varied real-life cases could strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
Your opinion
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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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