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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that a good diet and exercise are not necessary for a healthy and long life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
As we know our
old
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
 generation
life more
Wrong verb form
lives
show examples
 longer
live
Verb problem
apply
show examples
because they eat more
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 food and they work
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as a
fammer
Correct your spelling
family
, but some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals believe that a
balance
Change the verb form
balanced
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 as well
Use synonyms
exercise
Correct word choice
as exercise
show examples
 are not necessary for general
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
 and living long. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 is not
truth
Replace the word
true
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss how
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
 is a balance healthy
dieat
Correct your spelling
diet
 and
mantaince
Correct your spelling
maintain
exercise
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
To start with, having a proper
body
Use synonyms
diet
Use synonyms
 can help
body
Use synonyms
 mechanisms
proplerly
Correct your spelling
properly
. As we know,
Use synonyms
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
cabor
Correct your spelling
labour
, vitamin
c
Change the capitalization
C
show examples
,
firber
Correct your spelling
fibre
 and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
. If a
person
Use synonyms
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
proper
Correct article usage
the proper
show examples
 amount
what
Change preposition
of what
show examples
Use synonyms
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
Use synonyms
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
 function and can
prevence
Correct your spelling
prevent
 from
disease
Change the noun form
diseases
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
diabities
Correct your spelling
diabetes
, blood high
preaseure
Correct your spelling
pressure
 and more. A good
diet
Use synonyms
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 can
prevance
Verb problem
prevent you
show examples
 from having
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 overweight
body
Use synonyms
 or
underweight
Add a missing verb
being underweight
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
,
maintaince
Correct your spelling
maintaining
 a
schedual
Correct your spelling
schedule
Use synonyms
exercise
Change preposition
of exercise
show examples
 can help
Use synonyms
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
mantaince
Correct your spelling
maintain
maintains
 function accurately. Having a
schedual
Correct your spelling
scheduled
exercise
Use synonyms
 not only
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
body
Use synonyms
mantaince
Correct your spelling
maintenance
funtion
Correct your spelling
function
, but
also
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
Use synonyms
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
increace
Correct your spelling
increase
 blood circulation and
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
iminume
Correct word choice
the immune
show examples
body
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, daily
exercise
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 can
prevence
Correct your spelling
prevent
 from diseace. As we all know, a
scheadual
Correct your spelling
schedule
exercise
Use synonyms
 can help
Use synonyms
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
 not only
fits
Replace the word
fit
show examples
, and
also
Linking Words
 can make a
person
Use synonyms
 look
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
younger.
This
Linking Words
 is not only
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 for
health
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to become
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
actractive
Correct your spelling
attractive
person
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, A good
balance
Replace the word
balanced
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 and
a scheadual
Replace the word
schedule
show examples
 exercises
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 good for
Use synonyms
body
Correct article usage
the body
show examples
 and
health
Use synonyms
. Not only can help
prevence
Correct your spelling
prevent
 from
diseace
Correct your spelling
disease
 but
also
Linking Words
 can help increase
body
Use synonyms
imunime
Correct your spelling
immune
syestem
Correct your spelling
system
. I believe having
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
health
Use synonyms
 is
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 key
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
. We should
incouarge
Correct your spelling
encourage
 people to become
more healthy
Correct word choice
healthier
show examples
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 to
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
longer like our
old
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
 generation.

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coherence cohesion
Focus on improving your grammatical accuracy and spelling to enhance clarity and overall coherence. Frequent errors can make your essay difficult to follow.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear paragraph structure. One idea per paragraph, with a topic sentence, explanation, example, and a concluding sentence can help.
task achievement
To better achieve the task, ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay. Reiterate your stance in the conclusion to make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition of words and phrases to more effectively express your ideas and arguments.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, include more detailed and specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more persuasive and comprehensive.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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