IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior two children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behavior #two
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The ability to distinguish good and bad should be learnt by
children
Use synonyms
 from their childhood. punishments are crucial to assist them how can realising their differences.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, parents and teachers do not have permission to corporal chasts or do wild actions which
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
 low confidence or feel
embarrassmen
Correct your spelling
embarrassed
embarrassment
. Nowadays,families have become more aware of their
children
Use synonyms
 and strive hard to not only not bother their
kids
Use synonyms
 and ruin their confidence, but
also
Linking Words
 guide them to distinguish wrong and right. An old effective method is "
encouragement
Use synonyms
" and "
punishment
Use synonyms
". If
children
Use synonyms
 made a mistake,meanwhile they were informed about it very well, they would deserve penalizing. A suitable and reasonable chastity may prevent
kids
Use synonyms
 from doing wrong again and
also
Linking Words
, aware them of the verdict of what they do.
For example
Linking Words
, limiting their recreational activities or depriving them of games etc. I highly condemn every corporal
punishment
Use synonyms
 as it deeply impacts
children
Use synonyms
's
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
 and may cause bad results
instead
Linking Words
 of building nice
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, whenever
kids
Use synonyms
 and
adolescence
Replace the word
adolescents
show examples
 show some positive
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 and
implied
Verb problem
apply
show examples
 it in their own lives,they should be encouraged. Cheer may motivate them to do it again at a high level of quality.
In addition
Linking Words
, they become inspired to drive their peer in a positive manner.
Encouragement
Use synonyms
 should be balanced and must be related to
children
Use synonyms
's lifestyles,
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 and, habits. Buying a gift , giving modern facilities or allowing to access some new thing
such
Linking Words
 as smartphones can be strongly helpful. I highly defended moderate
encouragements
Fix the agreement mistake
encouragement
show examples
. In conclusion, it is vital to teach
children
Use synonyms
 right and wrong from their first years of life.
punishment
Use synonyms
 and
encouragement
Use synonyms
 should complete themselves depending on
kids
Use synonyms
' behaviour. In my point of view, corporal
punishment
Use synonyms
 or
over
Add a hyphen
over-encouragement
show examples
encouragement
Use synonyms
 that makes
kids
Use synonyms
 spoil is not
appropriat
Correct your spelling
appropriate
.
Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure clear and logical structure in your essay by having distinct paragraphs for the introduction, each main point, and the conclusion. Improve transitions between ideas for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should clearly state your viewpoint in the introduction and restate it in your conclusion for clarity. This provides a strong frame for your arguments.
task achievement
Support your main points with more detailed examples. This strengthens your argument and makes your ideas more convincing. Consider using real-life scenarios or hypothetical examples to illustrate your points more vividly.
task achievement
Aim for a more complete response by fully addressing all parts of the question. Make sure you provide a balanced discussion on both the importance of punishment and the types of punishment that are appropriate, as per the prompt's requirements.
task achievement
Work on the clarity of your essay by organizing your ideas more comprehensively. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by explanations or examples.
general
Consider revising your essay for grammatical accuracy and word choice. Accurate use of language contributes significantly to the clarity and persuasiveness of your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Moral compass
  • Perceptions
  • Discipline
  • Reinforcement
  • Controversies
  • Verbal reprimands
  • Physical discipline
  • Psychological impact
  • Mental well-being
  • Constructive tasks
  • Timeouts
  • Loss of privileges
  • Behavioral modification
  • Consequences
  • Accountability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: