IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior two children?

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The ability to distinguish good and bad should be learnt by
children
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 from their childhood. punishments are crucial to assist them how can realising their differences.
In
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On
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contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
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, parents and teachers do not have permission to corporal chasts or do wild actions which
causes
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cause
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 low confidence or feel
embarrassmen
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embarrassed
embarrassment
. Nowadays,families have become more aware of their
children
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 and strive hard to not only not bother their
kids
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 and ruin their confidence, but
also
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 guide them to distinguish wrong and right. An old effective method is "
encouragement
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" and "
punishment
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". If
children
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 made a mistake,meanwhile they were informed about it very well, they would deserve penalizing. A suitable and reasonable chastity may prevent
kids
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 from doing wrong again and
also
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, aware them of the verdict of what they do.
For example
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, limiting their recreational activities or depriving them of games etc. I highly condemn every corporal
punishment
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 as it deeply impacts
children
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's
personality
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personalities
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 and may cause bad results
instead
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 of building nice
behaviors
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behaviours
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.
On the other hand
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, whenever
kids
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 and
adolescence
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adolescents
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 show some positive
point
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points
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 and
implied
Verb problem
apply
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 it in their own lives,they should be encouraged. Cheer may motivate them to do it again at a high level of quality.
In addition
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, they become inspired to drive their peer in a positive manner.
Encouragement
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 should be balanced and must be related to
children
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's lifestyles,
age
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ages
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 and, habits. Buying a gift , giving modern facilities or allowing to access some new thing
such
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 as smartphones can be strongly helpful. I highly defended moderate
encouragements
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encouragement
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. In conclusion, it is vital to teach
children
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 right and wrong from their first years of life.
punishment
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 and
encouragement
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 should complete themselves depending on
kids
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' behaviour. In my point of view, corporal
punishment
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 or
over
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over-encouragement
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encouragement
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 that makes
kids
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 spoil is not
appropriat
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appropriate
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear and logical structure in your essay by having distinct paragraphs for the introduction, each main point, and the conclusion. Improve transitions between ideas for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should clearly state your viewpoint in the introduction and restate it in your conclusion for clarity. This provides a strong frame for your arguments.
task achievement
Support your main points with more detailed examples. This strengthens your argument and makes your ideas more convincing. Consider using real-life scenarios or hypothetical examples to illustrate your points more vividly.
task achievement
Aim for a more complete response by fully addressing all parts of the question. Make sure you provide a balanced discussion on both the importance of punishment and the types of punishment that are appropriate, as per the prompt's requirements.
task achievement
Work on the clarity of your essay by organizing your ideas more comprehensively. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by explanations or examples.
general
Consider revising your essay for grammatical accuracy and word choice. Accurate use of language contributes significantly to the clarity and persuasiveness of your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Moral compass
  • Perceptions
  • Discipline
  • Reinforcement
  • Controversies
  • Verbal reprimands
  • Physical discipline
  • Psychological impact
  • Mental well-being
  • Constructive tasks
  • Timeouts
  • Loss of privileges
  • Behavioral modification
  • Consequences
  • Accountability
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