IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that in the contemporary
world
Use synonyms
, in many parts of the
world
Use synonyms
, individuals have numerous choices for choosing their meals that are produced in other countries. By looking from different perspectives, we can assert that
this
Linking Words
 notion has some advantages and a few drawbacks.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that its positive sides outweigh its negative sides. On the one hand, the
food
Use synonyms
 in supermarkets that are produced all over the
world
Use synonyms
 can be beneficial for citizens because of several factors.
Firstly
Linking Words
, most of them are cheap, at least cheaper than the
food
Use synonyms
 served by restaurants,
thus
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 can afford them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they are easy to consume and fast to prepare, so, they can be one of the best options for employees and
people
Use synonyms
 who work or study for many hours in a day.
For instance
Linking Words
, I remember when I was busy with my dissertation, I consumed supermarket
food
Use synonyms
 every day for almost two months.
Lastly
Linking Words
, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 are involved in the production of
this
Linking Words
 type of
food
Use synonyms
, meaning it creates many jobs around the
world
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, supermarket foods have some disadvantages that are worth mentioning. We cannot ignore the fact that most of them are unhealthy.
Also
Linking Words
, the ingredients used to make that kind of
food
Use synonyms
 are unknown and we do not know about their quality.
For example
Linking Words
, a few years ago, a
food
Use synonyms
 company in Iran was accused of altering their product's nutritional value.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 their cheapness and easy consumption,
people
Use synonyms
, especially children can be encouraged to buy
this
Linking Words
 type of
food
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, these days, there are a plethora of supermarket foods that are produced all over the
world
Use synonyms
 and
people
Use synonyms
 can buy them easily.
While
Linking Words
 I understand its negative sides, I believe they are negligible and the advantages outweigh its drawbacks.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Clarify your argument by adding more specific and varied examples. While the example of your dissertation is personal and relatable, adding examples from broader contexts or different situations can enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Increase the cohesion of your essay by using more linking words and phrases. Although your essay flows well, adding a few more transitional words can improve the connections between sentences and paragraphs, making your argument easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all your main points are fully developed. Some points, like the creation of jobs, could be expanded with more details or examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view, acknowledging both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a clear and comprehensive approach to the task.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is quite strong, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your viewpoint, reinforcing the argument made in the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
What to do next:
Look at other essays: