It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Although
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
taking risky movements to change your life is something very hard,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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the advantages of it in the long term will make you happier.
Linking Words
While staying
Correct word choice
Staying
show examples
in the same position might lead to mental
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
. Good things take time and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
. Taking the risk to make new options right now will protect you from future regrads.
For example
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, changing your current job
the
Change preposition
to the
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one that you do not like, and starting your dream business may help you
being
Wrong verb form
be
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independent in the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
in your 40s maybe. Thing of the long-term effect is what
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
many
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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successful.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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change came with new wonderful experiences. Some jobs
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for
Add the comma(s)
, for
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instance,
requaer
Correct your spelling
require
requires
you to move to another city.
Therefore
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you will
found
Wrong verb form
find
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things to enjoy or even
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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you
wished
Wrong verb form
wish
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that you had the ability to give
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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a shot. Bad days lead to negative emotions. Going through a bad day
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
the impact to made you
abcet
Correct your spelling
accept
. People who think that it is better to stay in toxic
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
than break up with
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
partners are more likely to be depressed all the time and that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been
prove
Correct your spelling
proven
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in a recent study from King Fahad
university
Capitalize word
University
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. In my opinion, when you
dicide
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decide
to move out from
a
Change the article
an
show examples
unpleasent
Correct your spelling
unpleasant
stiution
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situation
the benefits of that may not appear
quicley
Correct your spelling
quickly
but, it
diffinatly
Correct your spelling
defiantly
worth it. In conclusion, sometimes it is very important to take risks and think about the future.
Due to
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the advantages that outweigh the
drowbacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
on
Correct your spelling
one
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of them is having
a daily bad emotions
Correct the article-noun agreement
daily bad emotions
a daily bad emotion
show examples
.
Submitted by zx00154 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
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Logical Structure
Ensure your essay is logically organized. Ideas should flow from one to the next with the use of linking words to show relationships between ideas.
Supported Main Points
Develop each paragraph with one main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. Avoid generalizations and aim for specifics that directly support your argument.
Complete Response
Fully address all parts of the task. Make sure your position is clear throughout the essay, and that you discuss both sides if the prompt requires it, before stating your own view.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
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Relevant & Specific Examples
Use specific examples to support your points. Examples should be relevant, detailed, and help to illustrate your argument clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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