It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Although
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
taking risky movements to change your life is something very hard,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the advantages of it in the long term will make you happier.
While staying
Correct word choice
Staying
show examples
in the same position might lead to mental
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
. Good things take time and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
. Taking the risk to make new options right now will protect you from future regrads.
For example
, changing your current job
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
one that you do not like, and starting your dream business may help you
being
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
independent in the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
in your 40s maybe. Thing of the long-term effect is what
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
many
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
successful.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
change came with new wonderful experiences. Some jobs
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
instance,
requaer
Correct your spelling
require
requires
you to move to another city.
Therefore
you will
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
things to enjoy or even
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
you
wished
Wrong verb form
wish
show examples
that you had the ability to give
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a shot. Bad days lead to negative emotions. Going through a bad day
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
the impact to made you
abcet
Correct your spelling
accept
. People who think that it is better to stay in toxic
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
than break up with
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
partners are more likely to be depressed all the time and that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been
prove
Correct your spelling
proven
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in a recent study from King Fahad
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
. In my opinion, when you
dicide
Correct your spelling
decide
to move out from
a
Change the article
an
show examples
unpleasent
Correct your spelling
unpleasant
stiution
Correct your spelling
situation
the benefits of that may not appear
quicley
Correct your spelling
quickly
but, it
diffinatly
Correct your spelling
defiantly
worth it. In conclusion, sometimes it is very important to take risks and think about the future.
Due to
the advantages that outweigh the
drowbacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
of them is having
a daily bad emotions
Correct the article-noun agreement
daily bad emotions
a daily bad emotion
show examples
.
Submitted by zx00154 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that is directly related to the question prompt.
Logical Structure
Ensure your essay is logically organized. Ideas should flow from one to the next with the use of linking words to show relationships between ideas.
Supported Main Points
Develop each paragraph with one main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. Avoid generalizations and aim for specifics that directly support your argument.
Complete Response
Fully address all parts of the task. Make sure your position is clear throughout the essay, and that you discuss both sides if the prompt requires it, before stating your own view.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Work on clarity and precision in expressing your ideas. Make your argument and the logic behind it as clear as possible to the reader, avoiding ambiguity.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Use specific examples to support your points. Examples should be relevant, detailed, and help to illustrate your argument clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: