The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors.

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors.
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The pie chart below represents information about common benefits and drawbacks of Bowen Island,
according to
Linking Words
the quiz
of
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apply
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people
Use synonyms
.
Overall
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, it is evident that the most common advantages were
people
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,
whereas
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the most common disadvantage was the high cost of living. To commence
with
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the most beneficial part of the statistics
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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the
people
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, which made up 42 %,respectively.
Then
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in the second place was the scenery, which accounted for 35 %,
consequently
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.
Last
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but not least were the good accommodation and culture, which comprised 11% and 12%, respectively. When it comes to drawbacks,the most common disadvantage was the high cost of living , which made up 50 %,
then
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in the second place was entertainment , which accounted for 25%,
consequently
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.
Furthermore
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the weather and food quality had the smallest numbers, which comprised 15% and 10 %. It may be concluded that the most common advantages were the
people
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,
whereas
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the most common drawback was the high prices.
Submitted by kassymov_99 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "consequently, whereas".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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