Many people think that the place you were born affects your success in later life. What is your opinion about the relevance of one’s place of birth upon future success?
Success
in life is often associated with birthplace and geographic background. There is an ongoing debate whether
Change preposition
about whether
birhplace
is the most important factor that influences Correct your spelling
birthplace
success
in life. While
perspectives vary widely, I agree that personal success
is tightly bound to birthplace, as I will agrue
in Correct your spelling
argue
this
essay.
Firstly
, the geographic location is fundamental due to
global privileges. While
some countries
provide several benefits in their territory, less affluent countries
lack of
basic resources, Remove the preposition
apply
such
as clean water and sanitation. Residents dwelling in these disadvantaged countries
are more preoccupied with providing foudational
needs to their families, rather than making long-term goals and seeking Correct your spelling
foundational
success
in life. Notably, third-world countries
such
as Yemen or Egipt
, which lack social infrastructures, do not train as many skilled professionals as the United States, which has a well-developed social infrastructure.
Correct your spelling
Egypt
Together with
the
geographic privileges, social advantages Correct article usage
apply
also
play a fundamental role in personal development. Countries
providing affluent opportunities for career development are rich in finalcial
and networking opportunities, which are often found in the same regions. People Correct your spelling
financial
that
are well-connected to collaborators from the same area have indeed a higher Correct pronoun usage
who
success
to receive
Change preposition
in receiving
support
from their peers, being that a
monetary Remove the article
apply
support
or mentoring. For example
, countries
such
as Germany or Finland who
provide a collaborative network for startups and institutions, Correct pronoun usage
which
support
the rise of new entrepreneurs in the same regions, thus
promoting personal success
.
In conclusion, geographic and societal factors play a fundamental role personal
Change preposition
in personal
success
. In light of this
, global and worldwide inititiatives
should Correct your spelling
initiatives
support
disadvantaged countries
by providing funding for their basic needs and extending their collaborations, therefore
, creating a well-connected collaborative network.Submitted by g.marta2013 on
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task achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses the question throughout, keeping a clear focus on the relevance of one's place of birth upon future success.
task achievement
Work on integrating more specific, real-life examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clear and logical organization in your essay. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly and enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are both concise and effective in presenting your main arguments and summarising your views.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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