It is often said that we should work to live, not live to work. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

#work #points

There is a phrase , which is really important nowadays for

people

to understand ,

work

is part of

life

is not a part of

work

Also

, in my point of view,

people

have to learn how to flex their working hours and live for a bit.

Firstly

, many

people

suffer from balancing their

work

time

furthermore

, it ends in an unhappy, stressful, and boring

life

. Self-awareness is really important for everyone because

then

you will recognize what is good for you and for your body.

For example

: It is obvious that working for long hours can make everyone exhausted,

moreover

, continuing

this

routine will turn out to habit. In the end neither living

life

for a bit nor looking at the things that we love closely or taking care of them will make us sick mentally. Scientists conclude that the

ones

who suffer from balancing their daily activities or can easily get bored from their

work

are the most likely the

ones

who will suffer from depression or other kinds of mental illnesses

Secondly

, working day and night does not keep any

time

for our loved

ones

In addition

, it is really important for anyone to spend

time

with their loved

ones

however

time

is not waiting for anyone, it just flows away.

As well as

, as anyone, it won't wait persons' working times either.

Nevertheless

, spending enough amount of your

time

on the things that you love, and focusing on yourself makes

people

more productive at their

work

and

also

helps them control their habits. All in all, there is no

time

for wasting or making ourselves unhappy for labour.

Moreover

, balancing the

time

we spend on

work

will make us more successful and more happy in

life

Submitted by i.nureddinn on Sat May 18 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Provide a clear and concise thesis statement in the introduction to set up the main argument of the essay.

logical structure

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases to improve cohesion.

relevant specific examples

Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing.

complete response

Expand on each point more fully and explicitly state the opposing viewpoint before providing your opinion. This will demonstrate a balanced discussion.

introduction conclusion present

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.

complete response

The argument is relevant to the task and the points made are pertinent.

relevant specific examples

You've provided some good examples to support your points, particularly in how overworking can impact mental health.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-life balance
financial stability
personal development
career advancement
fulfillment
leisure
self-care
burnout
stress
setting boundaries
professional success
personal satisfaction
harmonious balance
purpose and structure

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It is often said that we should work to live, not live to work. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, criminal trials in law courts are shown on television so that the general public can watch them. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

It is best to save money, for example in a bank or savings scheme. How far do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.