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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is often said that we should work to live, not live to work. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

#work #points
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There is a phrase , which is really important nowadays for
people
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 to understand ,
work
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 is part of
life
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,
life
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 is not a part of
work
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.
Also
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, in my point of view,
people
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 have to learn how to flex their working hours and live for a bit.
Firstly
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, many
people
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 suffer from balancing their
work
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time
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,
furthermore
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, it ends in an unhappy, stressful, and boring
life
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. Self-awareness is really important for everyone because
then
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 you will recognize what is good for you and for your body.
For example
Linking Words
: It is obvious that working for long hours can make everyone exhausted,
moreover
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, continuing
this
Linking Words
 routine will turn out to habit. In the end neither living
life
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 for a bit nor looking at the things that we love closely or taking care of them will make us sick mentally. Scientists conclude that the
ones
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 who suffer from balancing their daily activities or can easily get bored from their
work
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 are the most likely the
ones
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 who will suffer from depression or other kinds of mental illnesses
Secondly
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, working day and night does not keep any
time
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 for our loved
ones
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.
In addition
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, it is really important for anyone to spend
time
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 with their loved
ones
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,
however
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,
time
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 is not waiting for anyone, it just flows away.
As well as
Linking Words
, as anyone, it won't wait persons' working times either.
Nevertheless
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, spending enough amount of your
time
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 on the things that you love, and focusing on yourself makes
people
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 more productive at their
work
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 and
also
Linking Words
 helps them control their habits. All in all, there is no
time
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 for wasting or making ourselves unhappy for labour.
Moreover
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, balancing the
time
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 we spend on
work
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 will make us more successful and more happy in
life
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.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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introduction conclusion present
Provide a clear and concise thesis statement in the introduction to set up the main argument of the essay.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases to improve cohesion.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing.
complete response
Expand on each point more fully and explicitly state the opposing viewpoint before providing your opinion. This will demonstrate a balanced discussion.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
complete response
The argument is relevant to the task and the points made are pertinent.
relevant specific examples
You've provided some good examples to support your points, particularly in how overworking can impact mental health.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • financial stability
  • personal development
  • career advancement
  • fulfillment
  • leisure
  • self-care
  • burnout
  • stress
  • setting boundaries
  • professional success
  • personal satisfaction
  • harmonious balance
  • purpose and structure
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