Sports is one of the most important draws on television today. Some people argue that the practice of showing sports on television is to blame for the poor health of young generation by encouraging them to watch rather than partake in physical activity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, more
TV
stations
broadcast
sports
programs
to attract
youngsters
who are into
sports
. Most people believe that the trend,
however
, has caused unhealthy habits because they passively watch the
programs
rather than do physical
activities
.I highly disagree with that notion because of two reasons.
Firstly
, watching
sports
programs
on
TV
can encourage
youngsters
to do physical
activities
. The
sports
programs
bring about energetic spirits as
TV
stations
broadcast
the
sports
competition with lively audio and
visual
Fix the agreement mistake
visuals
show examples
.
For instance
, one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
most prestigious
sports
events in the world, World Cup, has caused many
youngsters
to play soccer. Many
TV
stations
promote the World Cup even before the competition is happening, which eventually creates euphoria among
youngsters
nationwide. Thanks to the live
TV
broadcast
, many
youngsters
are eager to play soccer in smaller competitions or inspired to be soccer athletes.
Therefore
,
sports
programs
on
TV
can stimulate
youngsters
to have the same physical exercise.
Secondly
,
TV
stations
broadcast
sports
programs
because numerous
youngsters
love and do
sports
. In fact, physical activity
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
and
sports
communities have become popular among
youngsters
.
Thus
, many
TV
stations
capture
this
phenomenon.
Therefore
, it has produced various
sports
programs
in order to generate revenue even better.
For instance
, Badminton is the most loved and followed by young people in Indonesia. It creates opportunities for
TV
stations
to
broadcast
badminton competitions, from national to international, and eventually generate billions of rupiah of revenue because of advertisements during the airing time.
Therefore
, with or without
sports
programs
on
TV
,
youngsters
still do physical
activities
. In conclusion, I strongly disagree that showing
sports
programs
on television causes an unhealthy young generation. Physical
activities
, mainly
sports
, have been part of youngster’s lifestyles, and
TV
stations
solely follow the market demand. Those
sports
programs
on
televisions
Fix the agreement mistake
television
show examples
, in fact, encourage
youngsters
to do physical
activities
even more.
Submitted by riki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on your introduction by briefly outlining your main arguments. This will provide a clearer overview of your stance to the reader right from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the cohesion of your argument by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help your essay to flow more smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
In your conclusion, aim to succinctly summarize your main points, reinforcing your argument. This will strengthen the overall impact of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Integrate a wider variety of sentence structures throughout your essay to demonstrate linguistic range and accuracy.
task achievement
Consider including counter-arguments to provide a more balanced viewpoint and then refute them to strengthen your own position.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: