IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It's better to work alone because people in groups spend too much time talking.' Do you agree?

#work #people #groups #time
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It is argued that working alone is better than working in groups because people spend a significant amount of
time
 talking. From my perspective, I contend that working in groups is more preferred
due to
 the rise in
productivity
 and the improvement of communication skills.
To begin
 with, teamwork is considered to be more beneficial because it can boost
productivity
.
This
 is because,
instead
 of working alone, which means a person has to bear all the tasks included in a project, taking that individual a long
time
 to accomplish, many people in a team can absolutely divide the whole project into small tasks, which helps them to finish their given assignment in a short period of
time
. For that reason,
productivity
 can be boosted dramatically by having more
time
 to complete one task.
For example
,
according to
 the New York Times, shorter
time
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing a presentation in a team than working alone is recorded more and more.
In addition
, working in a team
also
 has the advantage of enhancing the technique in communicating.
Due to
 the fact that everyone in
group
Add an article
the group
show examples
 has to discuss one thing with each other, they have to use their words properly by arranging them logically in order to make other members comprehend. Once individuals try to express their speech in the most logical way, their skill in communication will definitely be improved because they can maintain the coherence in their words.
Therefore
, there would be an enhancement in communication skills when people work in groups. In conclusion, I still believe that teamwork is advantageous because it not only increases
productivity
 but
also
 innovates the way individuals speak.
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task achievement
Expand on your examples with more depth and detail. While the essay presents a solid point with the reference to a New York Times article, including more specific data or case studies could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your transitional phrases to enhance flow. The essay uses transitions effectively but employing a wider range of phrases could make the text even smoother.
task achievement
Review and refine your conclusion. While it effectively summarizes your standpoint, adding a brief recommendation or a prediction based on your analysis could make your conclusion more impactful.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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