The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

The growth of online shopping brings us a convenient life in which we can access commodities anywhere just by using our cell phones. Some people think that
this
would lead to all
shops
in
towns
and
cities
closing,
however
, I disagree with that. The opinion that online shopping will have a negative effect on
shops
in
towns
and
cities
mainly accounts for these facts. First of all, merchandise on the Internet is mainly cheaper than in
shops
for its low cost, so more people prefer buying goods online than going to
shops
.
Secondly
, shopping online is more convenient than driving to the city centre where parking is always a problem.
Thirdly
, there are abundant commodity choices online, and searching is as easy as moving a finger,
while
in a department store or supermarket, we can hardly buy all the stuff at one time. In conclusion, online shopping is winning more and more market share
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and threatens the market of
shops
in
towns
and
cities
. In my opinion, online shopping can coexist with
shops
well, and they can benefit from each other. Take clothes
shops
such
as Uniqlo
for example
, we can easily buy clothes on the official website, but we still need to try them on in
shops
.To some extent, online shopping will never replace
shops
, especially
in particular
fields,
for example
, the service industries
such
as barber
shops
, and restaurants.
In addition
, the lower prices online will push the
shops
in
towns
to reduce the prices
while
improving the quality, in order to attract more consumers, which would promote the development of companies. At
last
, some
shops
nowadays are not only a place to buy, but
also
a social containment for people to get together. On the whole, I think online shopping will not lead to all
shops
in
towns
and
cities
closing, but on the opposite, online shopping will get along well with
shops
and be beneficial to the shopping market.
Submitted by 2819 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that all ideas are clearly linked together. Transitions between ideas can be smoother in some parts of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
Task Achievement
Try to incorporate more varied examples and evidence to comprehensively support your arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a comprehensive response to the prompt by addressing both sides of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear introduction of ideas and a cohesive conclusion which brings closure to the essay.
Task Achievement
The writer provided specific examples, like Uniqlo, to illustrate their point of view, enhancing the clarity of arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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