Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?
It is certainly true that
health
services
are a general requirement and part of life. Private agencies and hospitals provide excellent services
to patients
, however
, they become extremely costly for common persons. Regardless, I believe that private healthcare systems have more merits than demerits.
Firstly
, Private Health
care
systems provide extra-ordinary facilities to the patients
. In other words
, they feel like 4 start luxurious services
. Those who are financially strong can afford the cost. For example
, the private hospital business has been widely developed in India after the COVID-19 pandemic due to
more and more people believing in their services
and facilities. Secondly
, these places have advanced equipment and more experienced doctors. Therefore
, people always prefer to visit experts and take their valuable opinions. This
is the reason that the growth of private health
care
increased by 50% after the pandemic.
On the other hand
, these private health
care
runs without any control of the government. That means they have their own set of rules ,regulations and fees. Because of this
, sometimes, patients
have to suffer a lot during a shortage of financial aid. These agencies do not start treatment without paying the advance fees. For instance
, many private hospitals in India open the patient's file for the treatment only after paying 50% fees as an advance payment. Moreover
, they request some more unwanted laboratory tests in order to get more income to the hospital. Thus
, many people avoid to go private health
care
.
In conclusion, there are benefits and drawbacks to private health
care
in terms of cost , facilities, care
and services
for the patients
. Nevertheless
, I believe that the private healthcare system has more pros than cons.Submitted by ahv on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
clarity
The essay needs to improve clarity in a few sentences. For example, 'they feel like 4 start luxurious services' could be rephrased as 'they feel like 4-star luxurious facilities.'
cohesion
Try to use a variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with 'Secondly,' use alternatives like 'Moreover,' or 'Additionally'.
accuracy
Don't forget to proofread for occasional grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes. For example, there's an unnecessary space before commas in multiple places which affects readability.
task response
The introduction clearly addresses the topic and presents the writer's viewpoint effectively.
task response
The essay provides specific and relevant examples, such as the impact of private hospitals in India post-COVID-19 pandemic.
coherence
The points are well-organized and supported with logical reasoning, enhancing the coherence of the essay.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...