There are more workers work from home ad more students studying from home. This is because computer technology is more and more accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In recent years, technology has transformed the way people work. Whilst some argue that it has certain drawbacks, I firmly believe that it is a highly positive trend and will explain my opinion.
To begin
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with, advancements in technology have made it possible for people to study or work remotely, resulting in savings of both time and money. Remote employees and students have the ability to complete their tasks from home, which provides greater flexibility and saves time that
otherwise
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would be wasted on commuting.
For example
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, a 2022 study in the United States found that 67% of residents chose telecommuting over on-site work because they were stressed about traffic congestion.
Moreover
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, since online learners and teleworkers do not need to pay for fossil fuels in order to arrive at their workplaces, they can save a large amount of money and help preserve the environment.
Furthermore
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, both online learning and businesses ensure accessibility for a large population. Every student can access online courses that are free of charge, which provides opportunities for disadvantaged individuals, including rural dwellers, disabled groups, and elderly adults, to learn and improve despite the barriers present in traditional learning.
Similarly
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, citizens who live in a developing country can find high-paying jobs that match their qualifications in a developed nation.
For instance
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, statistics from 2020 in Saudi Arabia reported that 21% of citizens were home-based workers, with salaries that exceeded twenty thousand.
To conclude
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,
although
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remote working and studying may have some challenges, I am convinced that their advantages far outweigh their disadvantages. Thanks to technology, teleworking and online learning now offer wider accessibility and are more time-efficient and affordable.

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coherence
Use topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to show the main idea.
task
Add a short view that mentions a small problem and its solution to show balance.
coherence
Keep clear links between ideas with words like 'also', 'but', 'for example'.
language
Check grammar and simple word use to avoid small mistakes.
content
Give more concrete examples and explain why they matter.
task response
Clear stance in intro and conclusion.
evidence
Good use of numbers and examples to back points.
coherence
Logical flow between paragraphs.
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