In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, around the
world
there is a significant number of Add a comma
world,
minors
ho
start to work Correct your spelling
who
wery
early on. Correct your spelling
very
This
topic became controversial, as some disregard any type of child labour, while
others argue that Correct article usage
the involvment
involvment
of children in Correct your spelling
involvement
spesific
jobs could be very beneficial Correct your spelling
specific
fo
them. I personally lean towards the second position. The essay will focus on Correct your spelling
for
adressing
the Correct your spelling
addressing
above mentioned
issue.
On the one hand, supporters of children’s right to be part of the workforce argue thatAdd a hyphen
above-mentioned
,
it is beneficial for teenagers to start earning their money even before they turn 18. Employment or Remove the comma
apply
small comers
can Correct your spelling
smallcomers
provied
them with pocket money Correct your spelling
provide
while
also
, giving them life expirience
and a sense of valuing their earnings. As an Correct your spelling
experience
experiences
exapmle
, Correct your spelling
example
famous
American tradition of selling lemonade, Add an article
the famous
it
is an easy job even for Correct pronoun usage
apply
minors
, which, also
, teaches him
responsibility and Correct pronoun usage
them
basics
of business strategy. Correct article usage
the basics
Furthermore
, it providies
a Correct your spelling
provides
sourse
of income, that children can spend on whatever they want.
Correct your spelling
source
On the other hand
, there is a
significant opposition to that argument. People with Remove the article
apply
opposing
Add an article
an opposing
the opposing
view
, argue that there are no benefits Fix the agreement mistake
views
in
child - labour, Change preposition
to
also
, being harmful for
Change the preposition
to
minors
. As an argument, school aged
boys and girls shall spend more time and effort on education and themselves. It is harmful for Add a hyphen
school-aged
teenager
to spend a lot of time on work, as it would generally lower their interest in education and can hurt their social connections, like, sports, Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
hobbys
, Correct your spelling
hobbies
friends
. Another good
point is that Correct word choice
and friends
enabaling
Correct your spelling
enabling
Correct article usage
the emploement
emploement
of Correct your spelling
employment
minors
is a way of child exploitation, as an
example, Correct article usage
apply
companys
likeCorrect your spelling
companies
,
Remove the comma
apply
macdonalds
and Change the capitalization
Macdonalds
starbacks
pay less to their underaged Correct your spelling
Starbucks
star backs
empoes
, Correct your spelling
employees
thus
exploiting them.
In conclusion, I will summarize that I tent
to support Correct your spelling
tend
Correct article usage
the empoement
empoement
of teenagers in Correct your spelling
empowerment
employment
workforse
. As I Correct your spelling
workforce
belive
there are more pluses Correct your spelling
believe
then
minuses. I see Replace the word
than
Correct article usage
the opportyniti
opportyniti
to earn yourself money as a Correct your spelling
opportunity
opportunities
presues
one, Correct your spelling
press
especialy
when parents cannot or don’t want to satisfy your demands.Correct your spelling
especially
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structure
Focus on polishing your introduction and conclusion to provide a clearer stance and summary of your views. This will help make your essay more comprehensive and impactful.
content
Work on developing more detailed examples and arguments in support of your opinion. While you do provide examples, expanding on them with specific details would strengthen your argument.
grammar
Pay close attention to spelling and grammatical errors as they can detract from the clarity of your message. Consider using tools or resources to help with proofreading.
coherence
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting sentences focus on that main idea. This will improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
cohesion
Try to use a wider range of connectors and transition words to link your ideas more smoothly and clearly, enhancing the overall cohesion of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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