Some people think that the government should decide which subject should study at the university, while others think that students should be allowed to apply for the subject they prefer. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.

On the one hand, many people are of the view that
students
should have
choice
Add an article
the choice
a choice
show examples
to select
Change preposition
in selecting
show examples
their fields of
studies
Fix the agreement mistake
study
show examples
.
On the contrary
,
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
are in
ther
Correct your spelling
their
the
favour of constant supervision
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
education. In my perspective, both authorities and individuals will get benefits, if scholars are properly guided. Subject matter experts and authorities can provide useful insights when it comes to
persue
Correct your spelling
pursuing
a field of study. As authorities always have data, they
definitely
Add a missing verb
are definitely
show examples
aware of the occupations where there is a shortage of
skills
or professions where
skills
are surplus. In
this
way, not only governments will get enough human resources to narrow down the gap between
skills
supply and demand but
also
individuals will secure jobs in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
For instance
, Australia has already declared
skills
Correct article usage
a skills
show examples
shortage occupation list and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
data about which occupation is required for a certain region, state, or federal level and immigrants are evaluated on
this
criteria.
Thus
, humans are getting roles in industry and organisations are finding highly qualified
resouces
Correct your spelling
resources
when
students
are guided properly.
Coversely
Correct your spelling
Conversely
,
students
will perform well if they have
choice
Add an article
the choice
a choice
show examples
to select their subjects. When
students
are studying their favourite subjects, they put
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
energies and enthusiasm which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
them to master their
skillset
Correct your spelling
skill set
show examples
. As
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
result, they provide top-notch services with high-end results after graduation.
For example
, many graphic designers around the world, master their niche and have lots of work in
queue
Add an article
the queue
a queue
show examples
because of the expertise they have
as a result
they are satisfied with their jobs.
Hence
, humans deliver
extra ordinary
Correct your spelling
extraordinary
show examples
services after studies
provided
Verb problem
prove
show examples
they have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
in it. In conclusion, lots of people want to allow
students
to
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
studies in their favourite fields.
While
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
are in favour of fields that are relevant.
according to
me,
students
should be guided for the betterment of society.
Submitted by Haris Khan on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on a structured approach. Have a clear introductory paragraph summarizing the essay's direction, followed by body paragraphs that clearly address each view, and a conclusion that summarizes your opinion and the discussion. This will enhance logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, followed by explanations and examples. This helps in linking ideas smoothly, ensuring the text flows logically from one idea to the next, thus improving coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Elaborate on your ideas and arguments using more detailed examples. While some examples are provided, they could be further developed to deeply explore how they support your arguments, thus improving task achievement.
task achievement
Work on the clarity and depth of your comprehensive ideas. Attempt to present your arguments in a clear, unequivocal manner with a depth that convinces the reader of your view. This contributes to achieving the task effectively.

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