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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #visitors #three #london #museums #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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the chart shows the
inforfamtion
Correct your spelling
information
 about how many people visited
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three
london
Change the capitalization
London
show examples
meseums
Correct your spelling
museums
museum
during
Change preposition
between
show examples
 2007 and 2012.
overall
Linking Words
, at
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 of the
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of people who visited
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
gallery
Use synonyms
wast
Correct your spelling
was
show examples
 around 7
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the victoria
show examples
victoria
Capitalize word
Victoria
show examples
 and
albert
Use synonyms
museum
Use synonyms
 had
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors almost 13
million
Use synonyms
 , in 2012 the numbers
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed , the rate of
Use synonyms
victoria
Capitalize word
Victoria
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
albert
Change the capitalization
Albert
show examples
 saw
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
show examples
 trend and decreased to 10
million
Use synonyms
andthe
Correct your spelling
and the
 rate of
indivisuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 who visited
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
gallery
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 significantly
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
 16
million
Use synonyms
. regarding the
biritish
Correct your spelling
British
museum
Use synonyms
, it saw
upward
Correct article usage
an upward
show examples
 and downward trend during
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 years,it started from nearly 12
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 visitors and decreased remarkably to around 6
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and again
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
show examples
 notably to almost 15
millioms
Correct your spelling
million
millions
 in 2012. in conclusion,
although
Linking Words
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 the first and the end of
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
national
Correct your spelling
National Gallery
show examples
gallery
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
victoria
Capitalize word
Victoria
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
albert
Correct your spelling
Albert Museum
show examples
museum
Use synonyms
 had significant
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
, in order the
number
Use synonyms
 of national
Use synonyms
gallery have
Wrong verb form
galleries
show examples
 increased
10
Change preposition
by 10
show examples
million
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the victoria
show examples
victoria
Capitalize word
Victoria
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
albert
Change the capitalization
Albert
show examples
museum
Use synonyms
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
almost
Change preposition
by almost
show examples
 3
million
Use synonyms
 ,
biritish
Correct your spelling
British
museum
Use synonyms
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not
changed
Change preposition
by changed
show examples
 much and remains almost in the same
number
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sindokhtdadjoo2000 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, gallery, victoria, albert, museum, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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