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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #program
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It is sometimes thought that high school students should be obliged to work for the benefit of the community, without being paid. They could do several types of activities,
such
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 as charitable ones, making the neighbourhood a better place or training kids to do sports.
This
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 essay will argue that
this
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 proposal should be put into practice because it would make towns more liveable and the students more responsible citizens. Compulsory services that benefit the community can improve the lives of everyone and transform cities into nicer places to live in.
Moreover
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, having people do those types of activities,
such
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 as keeping public gardens clean and helping the older ones, can improve the lives of others.
For example
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, in countries like Japan, where many school associations do beneficial work for the public, the streets are much cleaner and people enjoy a better environment.
Such
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 activities can
also
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 have the educational purpose of making the students more responsible.
Moreover
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, working for a charity or teaching sports to children can help them to develop empathy and social skills, which are necessary to live in a society . It is not difficult to prove that people offering
such
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 services tend to be more compassionate from the acknowledgement of the gratification delivered from doing them. The idea of putting into high school programs the offering of community services for free is a very interesting one and it is argued if
such
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 a measure should really be taken.
Finally
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,
this
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 essay has discussed why
this
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 proposal should be approved and that the two main reasons are the positive effects on the public and the pursuit of educative goals.
Submitted by giordansamuele on

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task achievement
To bolster your task achievement score, consider providing more diverse and specific examples that correlate directly with your arguments. This adds depth and evidentiary support to your claims, enhancing the persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay displays a good level of coherence and cohesion, with a clear logical structure and well-supported main points. To further improve, vary your linking phrases and transitions to enhance the flow of ideas and make connections between paragraphs more seamless.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unpaid community service
  • compulsory
  • high school program
  • civic engagement
  • social responsibility
  • empathy
  • work experience
  • volunteerism
  • altruism
  • mandatory
  • personal development
  • civic duty
  • skills development
  • equity
  • motivation
  • academic pressures
  • citizenship
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