IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You have seen an advertisement for a weekend course to study a foreign language. Write a letter to the institution offering the course. In your letter: ask for details of the course ask if the course teachers are qualified native speakers request that the institution sends you their brochure. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir / Madam,...

Dear Sir or Madam My name is James Stirling and I am living in Manchester. Yesterday, I noticed your advertisement regarding learning a foreign language within six months.
Therefore
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, I am writing
this
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 letter to express my interest in learning the German language.
That is
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 why, I want to learn the details about your course. Could you please provide some information
such
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 as fees, curriculum and the total duration of the course
.
Change the punctuation
?
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Also
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, I would like to ask some questions about your teachers.
For instance
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, how many teachers does your institution have? Are they professionals? Are they qualified, native German speakers? And
finally
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, I would be grateful if you could send me a brochure which gives more information about your institution. I would appreciate it if you could send the brochure to my email address, [email protected]. I am looking forward to receiving your prompt response to my inquiries. Yours faithfully, James Stirling

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coherence and cohesion
Your letter is well-structured but try to make your questions more clear by using bullet points for easier reading.
task achievement
Make sure to use a more formal tone in some of your requests, such as using 'I would appreciate if you could...' instead of 'I would be grateful if you could...'.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear opening and closing that make your letter polite and formal.
task achievement
Your request for details is specific, making it easier for the recipient to understand your needs.
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