IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Everybody should donates a fixed amount of their income tu support charity. How far do you share this viewpoint?

#everybody #amount #income #tu #support #charity
It is acknowledged by
people
 that every human must consider reinforcing charity’s finances by giving them the amount of wage that all
people
 have. It would seem that participating in social activity is not determined by donating or supporting them in the shape of
money
, and
this
 essay will discuss the reasons behind it. To commence with, there are plenty of facets that
people
 should consider
instead
 of allocating their
money
 to non-profit organizations.
First,
allocating the monthly allowance to strengthen self-development is a must, and it can be done by following soft skills training both online and in person.
Second,
investing and depositing
money
 in stocks seems appropriate to consider
people
 in
this
 contemporary era.
Consequently
, it will help us in the retirement period, specifically in terms of financial management since the amount of
money
 invested will result in a shared.
Third,
contributing to social sectors is not only in the shape of
money
 but
also
 volunteering and being part of the activity are, in fact, more beneficial than only transferring
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
an extra budget.
However
, it is true that fostering charity’s finances is commendable. Despite
this
, as a youth, we have to make ourselves a profound priority before thinking about other
people
.
To sum up
, the factors regarding self-development allocation, investing for the foreseeable future, and supporting NGOs (Non-governmental organizations) physically combine together
to conclude
 that giving the amount of
money
 to charity programs is not recommended.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your task response, ensure your arguments directly address the prompt more clearly. Reflect deeply on the implications of mandatory charity contributions and explore diverse perspectives. Strive to directly respond to the viewpoint presented in the prompt.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider range of specific, detailed examples to solidify your arguments. This could include statistical data, real-life examples, or hypothetical scenarios that closely relate to the topic at hand.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring your essay flows logically from one point to the next. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs more effectively. Consider the logical order of your arguments to enhance readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a consistent theme throughout your essay. Ensure each paragraph contributes to the overall argument or point of view being presented, thereby reinforcing your stance on the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Despite the logical structure of your essay, work on enhancing the introduction and conclusion. The introduction should more effectively preview the arguments you will make, while the conclusion should sum up your main points more decisively without introducing new information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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