Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #world #media #touch #news #events #development

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Nowadays, the prevalence of social

media

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has skyrocketed, gaining immense popularity among

individuals

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While

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it enables

individuals

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to stay connected with diverse

individuals

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and stay informed about the latest updates, it

also

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exposes personal information to heightened risks and threats. In my perspective, the drawbacks of

this

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technology will have significant adverse effects that overshadow its benefits. One of the paramount advantages of social

media

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is its ability to foster global interconnectedness. It has effectively bridged the gap between

individuals

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worldwide, allowing us to communicate with anyone, anytime, and gain insights into their activities through a single application.

Additionally

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, it grants us effortless access to global events, enabling us to participate remotely.

For instance

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, when a person shares a live video of a music concert in America, it can be witnessed by all members of their friend list.

Overall

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this

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automated connectivity facilitates the comprehension of diverse cultures and the adoption of new experiences.

Conversely

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this

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technology

also

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harbors

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harbours

show examples

disadvantages, particularly in terms of compromising

individuals

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' privacy. In the present era, the incidence of crimes, especially cybercrimes, is alarmingly on the rise. It has become increasingly challenging to differentiate between authentic and fake profiles. Hackers exploit vulnerabilities in social

media

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accounts and may misuse the shared data. People have become accustomed to sharing their recent activities on social

media

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platforms, inadvertently providing golden opportunities for criminals. In sum, the drawbacks of

this

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technology extend their reach to a wide range of

individuals

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. In conclusion, the widespread usage of social

media

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significantly impacts people's lives. Despite its potential to bridge cultural gaps, it can

also

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lead

individuals

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into substantial troubles.

Therefore

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, considering the safety and well-being of

individuals

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, I firmly believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

Submitted by hoaan2409 on Mon Mar 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

Continue to develop your ability to create comprehensible, well-structured essays, making logical connections between paragraphs for improved coherence. Introduce diverse linguistic devices such as transitional phrases to enhance flow.

task achievement

Ensure you address all parts of the task and provide a more detailed analysis and explanation of how advantages and disadvantages relate to your thesis. Developing more specific arguments with illustrative examples will augment your essay's effectiveness.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

global village
real-time communication
cyberbullying
digital marketing
networking
data breach
misinformation
social media platforms
user engagement
privacy settings
sedentary lifestyle
screen time
virtual relationships
infodemic
echo chamber

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Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

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With the increase in computer use, many people feel that school do not need to put the emphasis that they used to on basic handwriting skills or mathematics skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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