IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many people want to have a successful career and a happy family life. What problems are involved in combining a career and family life? How to overcome such problems?

#people #career #life
Without any qualms, Nowadays, people are highly ambitious towards their careers
while
 maintaining their healthy lifestyles. There are various factors behind
this
 trend that prevent people from achieving their goals and affect their contented family.
This
 essay examines the reasons behind
this
 sensational trend and gauges the possible solution to counter it. First and foremost, not having a
work
-life and family-life balance is responsible for
this
 problem. To illustrate, people start avoiding interest in home chores and responsibilities and they focus mainly on their career growth.
As a consequence
, their primary focus of interest shifted from home to office
work
.
Moreover
, a lack of attention towards family could create isolation in the family which would have some repercussions on children's minds. Yet another factor is that cut-throat competitions are increasing day by day which creates hurdles to draw a line between
work
 and family. Employees have to
work
 around the clock and every possible effort to meet the expectations of their employers. Owing to
this
, it becomes hard for workers to devote some
time
 to their families. Despite the above-mentioned grievance,
this
 issue can be addressed with genuine efforts, and when it comes to solutions, there are many. At the onset, the problem of maintaining a balance between both places can be controlled by setting effective
time
 management skills and by learning to set priorities. When employees would divide their
time
 and finish their tasks in the nick of
time
 without procrastination, it would ultimately lead to a prosperous life.
Apart from
this
, the non-working members of the families can provide helping hands to working members.
Hence
, cooperation and adjustment among family members would leave a profound impression on their lives and they can run their lives smoothly.
To conclude
, after pondering over the above confabulation, it can be stated that great achievements always come with sacrifices and the support of family. To avoid the deleterious impacts, mutual understanding plays a pivotal role in making the balance of their life and
work
.
Submitted by sdeepkaur9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
To enhance your task response score, make sure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. While you have made a good attempt, providing more specific examples and elaborating on how these solutions can be implemented in real-life scenarios would improve your answer.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, ensure your essay flows logically from one idea to the next. Using a wider range of linking words and phrases could help connect your ideas more smoothly. Additionally, consider paragraph structuring techniques to enhance the reader's understanding and engagement.
coherence cohesion
To improve supported main points, it’s beneficial to include more detailed examples and explanations. Offering concrete examples from real life or hypothetical situations helps to substantiate your points and makes your argument more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • prioritizing
  • burnout
  • strain
  • neglect
  • resentment
  • financial pressure
  • childcare
  • gender roles
  • societal expectations
  • flexible work arrangements
  • telecommuting
  • family-friendly policies
  • communication
What to do next:
Look at other essays: