In the modern world, mobile and smartphone use has become universal in most parts of the world. Although there are clearly many advantages of this technology, there are many who believe it also brings many disadvantages. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

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It is true that in modern society, technical

devices

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such

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as smartphones have been prevalent all around the world. Many

people

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believe that there are numerous advantages of

this

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whereas

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I am of the opinion that

this

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technology brings more upsides. On the one hand, the idea of negative impacts regarding the use of mobile and other

devices

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is reasonable for several reasons. The first reason for

this

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is health issues when overusing it.

This

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is because when using smart

devices

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for too long,

people

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will experience bad health conditions

such

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as shortness of sight, headaches and lack of sleep.

Secondly

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people

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without self-reliance can be addicted to phones and not pay attention to work or study.

As a result

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, these

people

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will end up facing consequences that are undesirable

such

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as lower trust from other

people

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and can not achieve the goal.

Nevertheless

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, I believe that the technology assistance

that is

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provided by these

devices

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is more crucial. The main one is

people

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can take advantage of lots of digital platforms that are installed.

For example

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, designers in today’s world use Adobe

photoshop

Capitalize word

Photoshop

show examples

to design and draw for their projects, a lot easier than using paper and can make more money

due to

Linking Words

the amazing outcome.

Furthermore

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, smart

devices

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come up with convenience on a daily basis to help humans access anything in the most effective way.

For instance

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instead

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of using telephone booths like in the past, humans can communicate with their friends through a small box or send messages immediately, saving time and money. In conclusion,

while

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there are many drawbacks regarding digital facilities, namely health risks and

low quality

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low-quality

show examples

work, I still believe that it is more beneficial to use technology

devices

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because it can help

people

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in their career path

as well as

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daily life. It can be predicted that humans can improve

this

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to build

devices

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with can support us in the most significant way.

nguyetcat.daoTue Mar 05 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure all paragraphs are well-structured and logically connect to each other, with a clear topic sentence introducing the main idea of each paragraph.

Coherence & Cohesion

Incorporate more varied linking phrases to smooth transitions between sentences and ideas, enhancing the overall readability of your essay.

Task Achievement

Fully address all parts of the task. Give equal consideration to both views before stating your own opinion. Ensure that your opinion is clear throughout, not just at the end.

Task Achievement

To elevate your essay, try to include more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This adds credibility and depth to your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure your conclusion clearly summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This reinforces your argument and leaves a strong final impression.

Task Achievement

Though the essay presents a balanced discussion, amplifying the examination of the disadvantages before presenting your stance would improve the balance and comprehension of your discussion.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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In the modern world, mobile and smartphone use has become universal in most parts of the world. Although there are clearly many advantages of this technology, there are many who believe it also brings many disadvantages. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Nowadays environmental problems are too big to be managed by individual persons or individual countries. In other words, it is an international problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Parents should encourage their children to spend less time on studying and more time on physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Violence on television has a negative impact on children’s behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Some people think it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others , however, believe that boys and girls would benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.