An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

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Nations with excellent life
conditions
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receive more and more highly-educated migrants from
countries
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with low economic
conditions
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, and
this
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movement not only
causes
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low welfare in origin locations
,
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apply
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but
also
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makes targeted places overpopulated. In order to solve
this
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issue certain improvements need to be made in both
type
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types
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of
countries
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. People with certain
profession
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professions
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think that they deserve to live in better
conditions
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, and
therefore
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change their locations to meet these standards by leaving their home country.
This
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causes
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lower
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a lower
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level of qualified employees in their home country because the number of well-educated part of the citizens falls.
Furthermore
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,
this
Linking Words
trend creates the result of poor nations losing their educated members
,
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apply
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and leads the situation that rich
countries
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become more and more full
with
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of
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qualified people,
therefore
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this
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causes
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reverse effects to migrates' expectations:
unemployement
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unemployment
and poor life
conditions
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. Take, İstanbul
for example
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, the number of unemployed professionals is higher than the number of working class'. Improving welfare and implementing job occupations which satisfy their subjects are the solutions
of
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to
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this
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problem, which
they
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apply
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only can be done by force of the governments. For undeveloped
countries
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, the governments
of
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apply
show examples
them
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apply
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should increase the work
conditions
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and create new branches, and
likewise
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, so as to solve high workforce demands, places with high standards should
also
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implement the same. In Berlin,
for example
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,
due to
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its rise
of
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in
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receiving migrants, the German government has now opened 3 new hospitals and over 200 new schools to meet the workforce demand.
To conclude
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,
rising
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the rising
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movement of individuals with high career subjects
causes
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lower
develoption
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developing
rate
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rates
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in
origin
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the origin
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countries
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and
unemployement
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unemployment
in targeted
countries
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and an effective solution
is
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apply
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to solve
this
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is ensuring occupations in both the poor and the rich
countries
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.
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction and conclusion were present but could be made clearer. Try to restate your thesis and main points more explicitly in the conclusion.
Logical Structure
Your essay's structure is logical but can be improved for better flow and clarity. Try to use more transitional phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'Consequently,' to connect your ideas more smoothly.
Supported Main Points
While you've provided examples, such as the situation in İstanbul and Berlin, make sure your examples are directly related to the problems and solutions discussed. Additionally, include more diverse and specific examples to illustrate your points better.
Complete Response
You've addressed the task by discussing the problems and solutions related to the migration of professionals. To enhance your essay, try to delve deeper into the reasons behind the migration and its implications. This will provide a more comprehensive response.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Your ideas are generally clear, but they can be presented more comprehensively. Try to elaborate on your arguments by explaining how and why certain solutions would be effective. This will make your essay more convincing.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Your examples are relevant but could be more detailed. When providing examples, explain how they directly relate to the topic at hand. Incorporating more specific details will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Skilled professionals
  • Healthcare systems
  • Education systems
  • Economic growth
  • Dependency on foreign aid
  • Social inequality
  • Quality healthcare
  • Quality education
  • Retain talent
  • International cooperation
  • Sustainable growth
  • Scholarships
  • Professional development
  • Remote work capabilities
  • Local research funding
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