In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, it is possible to note that there is a movement among young people in choosing the short path to their professional development.
In other words
, they are enrolling in work-based training instead
of going to the university. This
essay believes that the drawbacks of this
choice outweigh the advantages in personal and global aspects as well.
It is undeniable that,
as faster someone ends his studies, as faster he is ready to work. Remove the comma
apply
This
is the main reason why people tend to do work-based training. The advantages are clear because they take less time to acquire the necessary knowledge do
apply in a specific field. Correct your spelling
to
In addition
, it promotes financial independence of
them, as Change preposition
for
far
as they start to work and receive their salaries. In the current dentistry market, Rephrase
long
for instance
, we can see many young professionals working on it, dealing with technical procedures and supporting the main dentists.
On the other hand
, this
fast attachment on
Change preposition
to
work
environment does not help in workers' specialization in depth. In Correct article usage
the work
this
aspect, universities play a huge role in making knowledge fields even more specific. Thus
, these places promote the learning of diverse majors in an accurate way making professional
even more capable of solving complex situations. Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
Besides
that, the academic environment prompts research which is essential for the increase of knowledge in any area.
In conclusion, as we can see, the universities have a symbiotic relationship with market
job. Add an article
the market
a market
This
undeniable necessity of learners on
these institutions Change preposition
in
foster
the enhancement of professionals. Because of Change the verb form
fosters
this
, having people enrolling in work-based training is good, but there are some disadvantages to be considered.Submitted by carinabmurakami on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
To improve your essay's Task Achievement score, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Expand on your discussion of the advantages and disadvantages by offering more detailed examples or explanations to strengthen your arguments. Additionally, consider balancing the discussion to ensure both sides are equally explored, as this can lead to a more nuanced and comprehensive response.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, aim to create a clearer logical progression of ideas. This can be achieved by using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring that paragraphs are well-structured with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of the paragraph. Connecting sentences and ideas more smoothly will make your arguments easier for the reader to follow.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?