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Band 5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very importatnt for people. Why misht this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #importatnt #people #misht #be #case #situation
Nowadays, people in some
countries
 prefer to have their own home
instead
 of renting one.
This
 could be
due to
 a lot of reasons since in those
countries
, owning a property is a great way to invest your money followed by other causes
such
 as inflation which
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 the rent fees.
This
 essay agrees with those who make
this
 statement and will discuss more about it.
To begin
 with, being a
home owner
Correct your spelling
homeowner
show examples
 in some regions of the world is considered
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
an investment since
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 of these
countries
 is growing rapidly.
Therefore
, the demand in the market for
such
 properties rises which causes prices to go up.
For instance
, in my
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
 the cost of accommodation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 doubled since five years ago and in a larger image it has grown 10 times in the
last
 two decades
as a result
 of population growth.
Thus
, people tend to show interest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 matter to make sure the value of their assets remains worthy.
Moreover
, inflation is a major key
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 way of thinking.
Furthermore
, it is important to mention that inflation puts those who are living in rented homes in more danger than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others.
As a result
, it can
effects
Verb problem
affect
show examples
 their lives badly and worse, they can end up being homeless. To illustrate
this
, a lot of people in my hometown are having
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 with managing their money to pay their rent and because of
this
, they see no other
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 but to move to
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 areas or cities just to be able to pay their landlords at
this
 moment even if it means they will be far from their working places. In conclusion, we must note that those who live in those
countries
 are right to make
this
 decision since it is about their lives which is
due to
 the situations they are surrounded with.
Submitted by mhosseinnaseri14 on

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task response
Ensure you directly address both parts of the question distinctly. While you discuss why owning a home is important, include more explicit insights on whether this trend is positive or negative, offering balanced viewpoints.
coherence and cohesion
Introduce topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to clearly outline the main point. This helps readers understand the main idea from the outset.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
task response
Make sure your examples are detailed and directly support the main idea of the paragraph. While general statements can set the scene, specific examples make your argument more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas or phrases. Aim for a variety of vocabulary to express similar ideas in different paragraphs. Synonyms and paraphrasing can help achieve this.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural Significance
  • Financial Investment
  • Heritage and Legacy
  • Equity
  • Return
  • Security
  • Permanence
  • Customize
  • Stability
  • Financial Burden
  • Socioeconomic Disparities
  • Marginalized
What to do next:
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