Some people believe that technology has led to many positive developments in their lives, while others think technology is gradually taking over control of the way people live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In recent days, many
people
believe that the breakthrough developments of technology have a positive effect on their lives,
while
others think that individual lifestyle is manipulated by high-tech devices. Personally, I agree with the idea that technological advancements have several benefits in light of some evident reasons. On the one hand, technological developments lead to some unexpected problems in the public's daily life. One notable drawback is that
people
lack opportunities to improve their potential since they frequently rely on technical devices and applications when meeting difficulties
instead
of getting over the obstacles by themselves.
For example
, most teenagers tend to make excessive use of internet-connected smartphones which have multiple functions to accomplish projects, the exercises without making any effort.
As a result
,
this
may limit their ability to develop unique skills.
Furthermore
, it is
also
serious that internet space is the favourite environment of cybercriminals because they can steal private information and misuse it for bad purposes.
However
, I advocate for the idea that technological advances contribute largely to making social life easier and more convenient. With the advent of portable smart devices like smartphones, and laptops, individuals around the world are connected together to create international relationships through chatting, a new way of communication.
Moreover
, the gradual technical improvement
also
has an enormous contribution to
enhance
Change the verb form
enhancing
show examples
the national economy because of the expansion of the business network. In fact, the establishment of selling apps
such
as Facebook, and TikTok, helps businessmen get access to a large number of both domestic and international customers and attract them to buy products.
As a result
, the public's living standard is improved gradually. In conclusion,
although
it is undeniable that the way of
people
's life has changed a lot
due to
technological products, personally I reckon that
this
development has more merits than demerits. If
people
know how to use their phones correctly, it will put their lives at ease.
Submitted by phamnhung275 on

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Task Achievement
Be cautious not to overgeneralize when discussing the effects of technology. Providing more varied examples or case studies can enhance your argument's credibility.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to include more transitional phrases and varied sentence structures to ensure the flow of ideas from one paragraph to another is seamless.
Task Achievement
Although your essay covers the topic comprehensively, deepening the analysis of both sides before asserting your opinion can provide a more balanced view.

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