Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults . Do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #adults

In recent times, some argue that youngsters who commit severe

crimes

have to be punished the same as the ones who are older,

while

some others

lay

Verb problem

apply

show examples

claim that it is not necessary to introduce these kinds of laws. The in-depth analysis in the following paragraphs intends to discuss why

this

essay disagrees with

this

perspective. Committing a crime

such

as killing people should have some unpredictable consequences for criminals.

Thus

while

youngsters or teenagers do these unfair

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

and never face the bad result, they might commit various

crimes

in the future because they think they

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

pass those horrible days too. Take murderers as an example, they are in prison because of their violent

crimes

and after 30 years they would be free, so there would not be any guarantees that they might not do another crime as an adult.

On the other hand

, authorities who introduce rules and regulations should consider juveniles' ages. Despite the fact that youngsters should be taught about nice behaviours and actions, they could be influenced by others like their friends or different drugs.

Moreover

, after they commit a noticeable crime, which is obviously harmful to others and societies, they may learn some lessons and will regret their past.

As a result

, they would be better ones in the future.

For example

, by having some beneficial rules which are helpful to communities, governments might guide these former criminals to a useful way

such

as asking for some social services

while

they are under the supervision of the government. Not only are they useful for societies, but

also

they completely face the consequences of their bad behaviours. After scrutinizing both sides, what can be concluded is that

although

the young ones who commit tough

crimes

should be punished the same as older people, authorities should consider a variety of factors before announcing their penalties.

Submitted by royakarimi435 on Wed Mar 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

While your essay presents a clear structure, the logical flow from one idea to the next could be further improved. Consider using more transitional phrases to create a smoother progression between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, but could be strengthened by more clearly stating your main argument or stance in the introduction, and more succinctly summarizing key points in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

To better support your main points, incorporate more detailed examples or evidence. Specific examples can greatly strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.

task achievement

While you’ve addressed the task, ensuring a complete response includes addressing all parts of the prompt more equally. Work on balancing your discussion to cover both views or aspects mentioned in the task, if applicable.

task achievement

You've done a good job at presenting clear and comprehensive ideas. To further enhance this, ensure that each paragraph conveys a single clear idea that ties back to your overall argument.

task achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This helps in providing a clear rationale behind your viewpoints and makes your response more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults . Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

In recent years, “responsible tourists” have paid attention to preserving both culture and environment of the places they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a “responsible tourist”. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries have embraced tourism as a way to boost their economies and create jobs for local residents . However ,some argue that tourism can have negative impacts on the environment and local cultures. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism for a country?