Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Over the past decade, there has been tremendous advancement in

technology

Use synonyms

in various sectors of the economy with the effects being both positive and negative. Some people argue that these developments have widened the

gap

Use synonyms

between the wealthy and those with low incomes in society.In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will highlight some of the ways that

technology

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has created inequality between the wealthy and the poor.

Additionally

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, I will discuss the ways by which

technology

Use synonyms

has narrowed the

gap

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which strongly i agree with.To

beginwith

Correct your spelling

begin with

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

industries are using modern instruments and software to perform their daily routine operations.

this

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is because tools are more efficient and more reliable compared to human

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

has led to the replacement of human

laborers

Change the spelling

labourers

show examples

with machines. A good example is the replacement of unskilled workers who used to pluck tea manually in most of the tea factories in Kenya with modern automobiles. As

such

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, many people become unemployed, and the lack of

such

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a source of income

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

exacerbated poverty.

on the other hand

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, I strongly believe that technological development in the finance and education sectors has bridged the

gap

Use synonyms

between the two social groups in society.

First,

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currently, almost everyone now owns a cell phone including the population living in rural areas.

Therefore

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, access to

such

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telecommunication devices

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

it easier to access

Change preposition

apply

show examples

financial assistance and information.

For instance

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, people in

the

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apply

show examples

rural areas lacked access to banks and even never opened bank accounts, with the introduction of mobile banking, low-income earners can save some money through mobile money applications.

moreover

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this

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creates a credit score among the financial lender and

therefore

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they can borrow and expand their businesses.

secondly

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, the technological improvement of medical appliances and drugs has greatly improved the quality of life among the population.

this

Linking Words

Add the comma(s)

, in

show examples

turn, has narrowed the inequality

gap

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that exists between the rich and the poor.

For example

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, the mass production of cheap generic drugs by many pharmaceutical companies has greatly reduced alleviated diseases among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

low-income earners.

consequently

Linking Words

, these the medicines are affordable for almost everyone. in conclusion, change I think that modern advancements in

technology

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hasbridged

Correct your spelling

have bridged

the

gap

Use synonyms

between the poor and the wealthy.

Submitted by kenkin1122 on Wed Mar 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Work on developing your main points with more depth. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by detailed examples and explanations.

task achievement

Address the task fully by discussing both views presented in the prompt before giving your own opinion. Make sure your opinion is clear throughout the essay, not only in the conclusion.

task achievement

Improve clarity and comprehensiveness in your ideas by planning your essay before writing. Outline each paragraph's main idea and supporting points to ensure a focused argument.

task achievement

Use specific examples to support your arguments. Where possible, include facts, figures, or real-world scenarios that illustrate your points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

366 words

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Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You have recently purchased a piece of furniture, but you noticed a problem when it was delivered to you. Write a letter to the store manager and say what is the problem? how did it happen in your opinion? What do you suggest the manager should do to resolve the problem?

Some parents nowadays put more pressure on their children to succeed. Why? Negative or positive?

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion.