IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

.University students should pay the full cost of their studies because a university education benefits individuals rather than society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It is argued that college
students
Use synonyms
 should pay all of the cost of learning because the benefits things that affect individuals outweigh society. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss why
this
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 viewpoint point flawed and give examples to improve my opinions.
Firstly
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, tuition
fees
Use synonyms
 are one of the huge things that
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 have chances to attend their favourite
universities
Use synonyms
 because the total
fees
Use synonyms
, which are spent for studying a course account
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 numerous budgets.
Therefore
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, it is a drawback for
society
Add an article
a society
the society
show examples
 that currently lacks high-quality employees
such
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 as engineers, medical employees and scientists.
For instance
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, there was a result of a survey show about 50 per cent of
students
Use synonyms
 had to select low-cost majors
instead
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 of
favourite
Correct pronoun usage
their favourite
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 majors.
Overall
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,
tuitions
Change the noun form
tuition
show examples
fees
Use synonyms
 will affect to quality of talented
students
Use synonyms
 who lack of financial budget to follow courses.
On the other hand
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,
this
Linking Words
 problem
also
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 has a different drawback when all course
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the college is
no
Correct your spelling
not
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 charged, the
universities
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 will have not enough
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
for hiring
Change preposition
to hire
show examples
 people who
own
Verb problem
have
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 high levels of
professional
Replace the word
professionalism
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.
Therefore
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, it causes damage to the quality of
students
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 when not served by them.
By contrast
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, low-salary teachers
also
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 reduce levels of concentration when
teach
Change the verb form
teaching
show examples
students
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, because they can attend other works for
living
Add an article
a living
the living
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. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, course
fees
Use synonyms
also
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 is a method that
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 increase the high standard of studying.
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Cambridge University which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 high tuition
fees
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 but still
keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
position
Correct pronoun usage
its position
show examples
 is one of the best
universities
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 all over the world. In conclusion, the cost of university despite one of the problems for
attract
Change the form of the verb
attracting
show examples
 the attention of
talent
Replace the word
talented
show examples
 people but it
also
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 is a mount of budget for hiring high-quality researchers and scientists to increase valuable courses. In my opinion,
universities
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 should not only consider tuition costs to suit the majority of
students
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 but
also
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remain
Verb problem
maintain
show examples
 the quality of courses.

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces the topic and your position. Additionally, your conclusion should summarise the main points and restate your viewpoint in a clear manner.
Logical Structure
Develop a logical structure by organising your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific main idea. Use transition words to guide the reader through your arguments.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples. This strengthens your argument and makes it more convincing to the reader.
Complete Response
Fully address the task by covering all parts of the prompt effectively. Make sure that your response is complete and demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify your ideas by expanding on them and explaining how they relate to the topic. Avoid general statements and strive to make your argumentation comprehensive.
Relevant Specific Examples
Use specific examples to back up your points where possible. This adds credibility to your arguments and helps to illustrate your points more effectively.
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