IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that technology causes more problems for modern society than it solves. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many believe that modern technological development has done more harm than good to both the individual and society as a whole. Even though I do agree that technology has complicated human life to an unhealthy degree, turning away from technology is quite impractical as it could improve
overall
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 public health and education. First and foremost, our lives have become too complex and riddled with daily annoyances. True solitude is no longer the case for an average adult as we are now often buried under layers of work-related email notifications or text messages. Even in the young, there are numerous phone applications for students to receive and turn in home assignments. Evidently,
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 need to stay constantly connected is stressful and exhausting. Another point worth considering is that daily entertainment is
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 linked with technological devices
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as televisions, computers, or smartphones, all of which are extremely addictive. Reports from multiple countries have shown that there is irreversible damage to human brains from excessive screen-time usage. It is scientifically proven that people with
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 addiction experienced a decrease in grey matter volume in critical areas, a condition
similarly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 observed in those with a substance use disorder. At the same time, medical and educational technologies have been providing innumerable benefits to modern society. In fact,
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 medical advances, doctors are now able to diagnose health problems 300% more accurately than just five decades ago.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 greatly facilitates timely intervention and improves positive outcomes.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, innovative medical products can now
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 replace and sustain failing body functions, thereby supporting people in living full and active lives.
Additionally
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the use of information and communication technologies plays a crucial role in providing a more accessible learning process. In the recent
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19

The word Covid-19 doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
 pandemic,
for instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, “learning poverty” was at an all-time high for most underdeveloped countries. As local schools were forced to close
due to
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the disease, remote learning was
then
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 deployed using a combination of TV, Online, and Mobile Platforms, which can teach thousands of students simultaneously. Commendably, now most countries have invested in digital infrastructure, and are still utilizing various implementations of remote learning. In conclusion, despite its fair share of problems, technological innovations personally are still a blessing for modern society
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the improvements it provides in terms of healthcare and education.

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task response
Clarify your introductory sentence to directly address the essay question. This helps set a clear stance from the beginning, making your argument more powerful.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider connecting your paragraphs with transitional phrases that not only signal the beginning of a new paragraph but also show the relationship between ideas.
task response
While your examples are relevant, deepening the analysis of how technology solves the problems it creates could strengthen your argument. Mention specific technological advancements and their impacts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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