Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argued that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both point of view and give your own opinion.

As we
Correct word choice
We
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believe that any
crimes
have any
triggered
Replace the word
trigger
show examples
to do their actions. Within that, people argue if
individuals
get
involve
Change the form of the verb
involved
show examples
in any kind
or
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
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will get the same
punishments
, whether
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
based
Add a missing verb
is based
show examples
from
Change preposition
on
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their
circumstances
or motivation. But, in my opinion, it has to be treated with different
punishments
, which is
motivation
Add an article
the motivation
a motivation
show examples
for committing
Correct article usage
the needs
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needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
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to punish more rather than based on the
circumstances
of an individual. On the
first
Correct word choice
other
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hand, people who have motivation
for
Change preposition
to
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committing a
crime
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
a realization of their steps and goals
what
Correct word choice
that
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they need to achieve.
Moreover
, in
this
crime
Add a comma
crime,
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their feelings
also
involve
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anger, revenge, greed, lust, and other negative feelings to
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
this
crime
achieved.
For example
,
corruption
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in corruption
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, if the
individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
already
had
Wrong verb form
have
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anything but still cannot
fulfill
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fulfil
show examples
their
greedy
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greed
show examples
, they will
planning
Wrong verb form
plan
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to try making a scheme
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
they can
got
Change the verb form
get
show examples
free money from
illegal
Add an article
the illegal
an illegal
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resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
. From
this
crime
, we need to give the criminals more
punishments
like
send
Wrong verb form
sending
show examples
them to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
jail and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
all their wealth.
On the other hand
, people who have
a bad
Correct the article-noun agreement
bad circumstances
a bad circumstance
show examples
circumstances
like poverty and cannot work to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their basic needs because of something. In
this
situation, they cannot
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
proper plans, or make some steps
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty
forced
Wrong verb form
forces
show examples
them to
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
so they can live
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
longer.
Moreover
, they do not really target some specific
individuals
also
Correct pronoun usage
who also
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do the
crime
roughly. With
this
situation, we need
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
approach for them, rather than to punish them
to put
Change preposition
by putting
show examples
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
jail, we can try
put
Fix the infinitive
to put
show examples
them on a foundation
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
give them some education and a better place to live. In conclusion,
punishments
should be given for every
crimes
Change to a singular noun
crime
show examples
that
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
.
However
,
individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
did
Verb problem
committed
show examples
some
crimes
because of their
circumstances
need to dig more
for
Change preposition
into
show examples
their
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
and give them different
punishment
Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, make sure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. This includes discussing both viewpoints thoroughly before stating your own opinion. Aim to balance the discussion to ensure each viewpoint is equally represented.
Coherence and Cohesion
To elevate your score in Coherence and Cohesion, work on the logical flow of your ideas. Use a variety of linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs. Also, ensure your paragraphing clearly separates different ideas, making your argument easier to follow.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points by providing more specific examples and explanations. Remember, the quality of your arguments is improved significantly by how well you can support them with relevant examples.
General Advice
Review and correct grammatical errors and work on sentence structure variety to make your writing more engaging. Paying attention to grammar and vocabulary would also help enhance the clarity and accuracy of your message.

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