IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people travel to foreign countries for pleasure. Some believe this travel has a negative impact on the countries travelled to. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #travel #countries #pleasure #believe #impact
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These days, it is quite common to travel around the world for entertainment.
However
, some would argue that it brings a lot of negatives to the countries popular among
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
.
This
 essay strongly disagrees with that statement because
tourism
 might bring a lot of benefits to the locals: strengthening the local
economy
 and contributing to local infrastructure development are two of many more gains that will be discussed
further
.
To begin
 with, the local
economy
 of many regions or even the
economy
 of some countries is based on tourists. These places do not have any kind of natural resources, like gas or oil,
no
Correct word choice
and no
show examples
 industry and production, and opening them is feasible for environmental and economic reasons,
hence
,
tourism
 becomes one of the main or greatest sources of income.
For example
,
tourism
 is the largest sector of Maldives'
economy
, providing for more than 28% of GDP and 60% of foreign exchange.
Secondly
, in order to be able to receive and accommodate many people during the vacation season an infrastructure should be created, including airports, railways, catering, medical institutions,financial
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
, availability of the Internet, hotels, safe water, etc.
Thus
, local people first of all will be given an opportunity to use all of these facilities of good quality in their lives. No doubt, local customs and traditions must be taken into account and respected.
To conclude
, international
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 might be positive because many countries' budgets consist of earnings from it and local people are able to benefit from the income opportunities arising from
tourism
.
Submitted by natallia.khrenava on

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Task Response
Make sure your introduction provides a clear opinion on the prompt given, making your stance evident to the reader.
Task Response
In the body paragraphs, explore the main points further by providing more depth, analysis, and variation in the examples you give.
Coherence & Cohesion
For better coherence, ensure that your ideas are not only logically ordered but also clearly linked using a variety of cohesive devices.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to make your conclusion more impactful by summarizing your arguments more succinctly and reinforcing your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve cohesion, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more smoothly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exchanges
  • Global connections
  • Tourism boosts
  • Local economy
  • Over-tourism
  • Environmental degradation
  • Landmarks
  • Commodification of culture
  • Authentic cultural expressions
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Tourism infrastructure
  • Public services
  • Disrespect local customs
What to do next:
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