IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

more and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in foreign country. do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?

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Many
students
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 are deciding to study abroad at colleges and universities outside their
country
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. I believe that studying in a foreign
country
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 gives numerous benefits for
students
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 so that they can be independent and some drawbacks can
also
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 be observed. On the one hand, the disadvantage of studying abroad is living far from family. Some
students
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 might feel distant from their families because they can not see their families physically.
This
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 will lead to homesickness for some
students
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 because they might feel lonely during their studies. Despite
this
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 drawback, there are obvious advantages to studying abroad.
Firstly
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,
students
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 can be more independent and they can rely on themselves whenever problems emerge. Living far from family means that they have to take care of themselves from the smallest things like making their own food to handling big things like earning their own money.
In addition
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 to
this
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, studying in a foreign
country
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 means
students
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 can learn about new languages and cultures. The diversity of cultures in a foreign
country
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 is one of the joys that
students
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 can get.
Students
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 can learn a new perspective of the world because every culture is unique in its own way.
Students
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also
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 can try to broaden their networks by learning new languages and traditions.
Thus
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, it helps them to get more valuable knowledge during their study. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some drawbacks that can be observed from studying abroad, I believe that the benefits outweigh them, as the
students
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 can be more dependent on themselves. It helps
students
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 to get new knowledge and connections in a foreign
country
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.

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Improvement Suggestions

3
task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure you explore both sides of the argument equally and provide more specific examples to support each point. While you have mentioned benefits and drawbacks, the examples given are somewhat general. Try to include real-life instances or more detailed scenarios that demonstrate the advantages and disadvantages clearly.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by linking ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to show contrast, addition, and consequence. This would help the reader follow your argument more easily.

supported main points

To further support your main points, include more detailed examples and evidence. This could involve citing studies, statistics, or personal anecdotes that reinforce the benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad. These details will make your argument more persuasive and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • opportunities
  • personal growth
  • development
  • exposure
  • diverse
  • perspectives
  • language skills
  • job prospects
  • adapting
  • environment
  • financial considerations
  • costs
  • homesickness
  • social isolation
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