in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? what do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Owning a
home
rather than renting one is considered essential in some countries.
This
may be because it provides people with a secure place to live during
retirement
. I believe
this
trend is positive, as it encourages
individuals
to invest in property rather than spend money on rent. Many
individuals
prioritize owning a
home
to ensure stability during their
retirement
. They anticipate potential financial challenges after
retirement
since they are likely to receive a reduced income compared to their working years.
For example
, retired civil servants may experience a 50% reduction in income,
while
house prices increase by approximately 10% each year
due to
inflation.
Therefore
, purchasing a
home
during their productive years becomes a sensible strategy, alleviating concerns about housing security after
retirement
.
Furthermore
, owning a
home
can be viewed as beneficial because it allows
individuals
to invest their budget in an asset rather than rent payments.
Although
purchasing a house requires a substantial initial investment, many people choose to apply for a bank loan and pay in monthly instalments.
For instance
, with relatively similar monthly expenses, many
individuals
prefer to purchase a house in Bogor, 40 kilometres from Jakarta, rather than rent a place closer to their office. After completing the instalment period, they will own the property outright, which is not possible with a rental. In conclusion, owning a
home
rather than renting is important to many people as it provides them with a stable place to live during
retirement
. I believe
this
is a positive trend, as it encourages
individuals
to allocate their budget toward a valuable investment
instead
of rental costs.
Submitted by adittyafatma on

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task achievement
Consider expanding the discussion on whether this trend is universally beneficial or if there are some drawbacks to it, offering a balanced view on the situation.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the diversity in sentence structures to add depth and variation to the essay, which will enrich the reading experience.
coherence cohesion
While the essay's structure is effective, you could improve coherence by using a wider range of linking devices to better convey the connections between ideas.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses the reasons why homeownership is important in some countries, focusing on stability for retirement and investment potential.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets the context for the discussion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported with specific examples, like the comparison between buying in Bogor and renting in Jakarta.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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