Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The majority of advocates strongly believe that
children
of all ages ought to have more duties like doing laundry at home or at the workplace. While
others think that, they should be free after school
in order to enjoy their lives. I vehemently hold this
view that more taxing tasks
might be beneficial for students due to
them becoming sophisticated in real life
and using their leisure time
more effectively.
A number of people strongly believe that small tasks
in real life
encourage children
to become mature in reality. In other words
, they would perceive their duties are not restricted to the school
and they have more responsibilities even at home. Nevertheless
, in this
way, they will learn about the obstacles of life
while
other peers enjoy their free time
they would doing something that gives them a purpose. For example
, those students who are working after school
are more mature about their lives in comparison with other youngsters. Consequently
, they set a plan for their future which is a sign of maturity.
In addition
, I firmly believe that when they have more responsibilities they will use their time
more effectively. To clarify, children
who work either at home or at the workplace are more aware of their limited time
in life
. Therefore
, they use it better than other teenagers. For instance
, they have a plan for their routine which leads them to have discipline.
On the other hand
, some may claim that students should be free after school
in order to find the true meaning of life
. they argue that their duties must be limited to the school
in this
way they will have this
opportunity to explore new things in reality. To cite an example, the children
who have more freedom are more thrilled than those who are overwhelmed with tasks
. However
, this
perspective was overlooked and did not pay attention to the variety of achievements they would have in future if they had more responsibilities.
In conclusion, although
some are of the opinion that teenagers should be free after school
to enjoy their lives the majority of proponents and I strongly believe that a little more tasks
will help them to develop better because of the sophistication that they achieve and be aware of their short time
in life
.Submitted by mirhashemim7 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points you intend to cover. This will help the reader understand the structure of your essay from the beginning.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use varied and appropriate transition words to improve the flow of your arguments. This can make the text smoother and help the reader to understand the connections between points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Aim for a clear, logical structure throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and all sentences should support that idea. Avoid introducing unrelated information.
Task Achievement
Make sure to fully respond to all parts of the prompt. In this essay, you discussed both views but seemed to emphasize your own view more heavily. Strive for a balanced discussion before providing your own opinion.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas fully by explaining your rationale and providing concrete examples. Your discussion will be more persuasive if your points are not only stated but also elaborated upon.
Task Achievement
Use specific, relevant examples to support your arguments. While you provided some examples, aiming to illustrate each main point with a clear example will improve the strength of your essay.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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