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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think the qualities a person needs to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s world, there is a belief that essential qualities for achieving success cannot be acquired through
education
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 at
universities
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 or similar academic institutions.
While
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 formal
education
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 certainly plays a significant role in shaping an individual’s
skills
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 and knowledge, there are other factors outside of the classroom that contribute to success.
Firstly
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, it is important to acknowledge that
universities
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 provide valuable academic
education
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 and technical
skills
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 that are essential for many professions. Subjects
such
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 as mathematics, science, and literature taught at
universities
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 may give individuals foundational knowledge in various fields.
Additionally
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, educational
institution
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institutions
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 often offer opportunities for students to develop critical thinking, problem-solving, and communication
skills
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 through coursework and group projects.
Moreover
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, people with a degree will be able to get a decent job easily and even be posted into a high position in the workplace.
However
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, achievement in today’s world often requires more than just academic qualifications. Real-world
experiences
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,
such
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 as internships, and volunteer work can provide individuals with practical
skills
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 that cannot be gained in a classroom.
Consequently
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, these
experiences
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 allow individuals to apply their academic learning to real-life situations, and gain different
skills
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 for their career path.
As a result
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, people will become more aware of the news
,
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apply
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 and will be able to find solutions to life problems.
Finally
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, some
skills
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such
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 as resilience, creativity, and adaptability are crucial nowadays. So, these qualities are often can be gained through life
experiences
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 and challenges. In conclusion,
while
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 formal
education
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 at
universities
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 is important for gaining academic knowledge and technical
skills
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, personal qualities and real-world
experiences
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also
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 play a significant role in shaping an individual’s achievement.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth logical flow throughout your essay by using clear connectors and paragraphing, which could improve both the clarity and cohesion of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to uniformly develop the main points across your essay. Each paragraph should be clearly focused on a single main idea, supported by specific details or examples.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Make sure that your essay adequately covers all aspects of the prompt and presents a clear position throughout the response.
task achievement
Use more relevant, specific examples to back up your arguments. This not only strengthens your points but also demonstrates the breadth and depth of your understanding.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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