It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early stage. Punishment is necessary to learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In childhood, it is necessary that pupils can learn how to make
difference
Correct article usage
a difference
show examples
in right or wrong activities. Some people think that to learn
this
Linking Words
, punishment is necessary but I
am disagree
Change the verb form
disagree
show examples
with it. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss my reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
disagreement in upcoming paragraphs.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
and foremost reason is promoting violence. If
children
Use synonyms
make
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
it does not mean that we have
punish
Fix the infinitive
to punish
show examples
them to realize
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that they did something wrong. It creates
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
behaviour in them. They will
also
Linking Words
start treating others like
this
Linking Words
.
For example
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
parents
Correct word choice
if parents
show examples
punish their
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
for not performing well in school exams
then
Linking Words
it affects negatively on mindset of
children
Use synonyms
like
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they will
also
Linking Words
start treating their friends like that if they have any arguments.
This
Linking Words
will
also
Linking Words
end
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the relationship between them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, toddlers remember what they learn
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
an
show examples
early age.
Parents
Use synonyms
have to treat them with love and affection if they make any mistake and try to spend time
them
Change preposition
with them
show examples
as much as possible or give them general
jnowledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
of life
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
how they can deal with different
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Parents
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
have to ignore fighting or follow
rules
Correct article usage
the rules
show examples
of the society where they live.
Children
Use synonyms
always follow their
parents
Use synonyms
. They do not have to put much
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
towards their
children
Use synonyms
if they are good
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
in their life. In my opinion,
parents
Use synonyms
can tell their
children
Use synonyms
stories in their early stage during night time which have a conclusion in the end about what is right or wrong for
healthy
Add an article
the healthy
show examples
living style it affects
Use synonyms
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
a lot because after listening
stories
Change preposition
to stories
show examples
they can start thinking about the matter of story and they will be capable in making difference between right and wrong things.
Submitted by Kamaljeetkaur6968 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question asked and maintains focus on the topic throughout. You should provide a more nuanced argument with specific examples to substantiate your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, enhance the organization of your essay by using clear paragraphing with topic sentences that directly link to your main argument. Transition words should be utilized more effectively to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a clear introduction and conclusion into your essay. The introduction should outline your main argument, while the conclusion should summarize the key points discussed and restate your stance in a persuasive manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral development
  • early childhood
  • right and wrong
  • punishment
  • consequences
  • appropriate
  • moderation
  • positive reinforcement
  • modeling behavior
  • reasoning
  • psychological effects
  • fear
  • aggression
  • self-esteem
  • cultural differences
  • parenting
  • discipline
  • teaching morality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: