societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation's population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Advances in medical technology and the eradication of killer diseases
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
increased life expectancy across the globe.
However
, an ageing
population
requires more health care, putting an impossible financial burden on many public
healthcare
systems. In
this
essay, I will discuss whether I think
such
costs
should be borne by the
population
. The main argument for sharing
this
healthcare
burden is that it is fair. If we all contribute, the
costs
are shared, and what’s more even the young will one day benefit from the system, as they too will get old and require more
healthcare
to nurse them through their old age. There are a lot of merits to
this
argument as at face value it seems to be an equitable solution.
However
, in my country at least, it is often the ageing
population
themselves who have the most disposable income available and
therefore
are better placed to afford increased
healthcare
costs
. Many young people are struggling financially and can barely afford to even rent a property to live in, never mind
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
their own houses. Asking them to fund
healthcare
for old people under
such
circumstances is difficult to make a case for. A better solution might be for all to contribute towards
healthcare
but to have higher taxes for the wealthier members of society to pay for
such
healthcare
provision for those less well-off. In conclusion, I would largely agree that
healthcare
costs
for the aged should be paid for through taxation of the
population
as everyone will eventually benefit from it.
However
, I would argue that the amount of tax paid should depend on a person’s own financial circumstances, rather than expecting everyone to contribute equally.
Submitted by aakbarov2010 on

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Task Achievement
Enhance the depth of your arguments by incorporating a wider range of examples or case studies. This will substantiate your points further and provide real-world context.
Task Achievement
Consider including a counter-argument paragraph to address opposing views directly. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate critical thinking.
Coherence & Cohesion
For better coherence, make your transition between paragraphs smoother. You can achieve this by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases that naturally lead the reader from one idea to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve cohesion, revisit paragraph structure. Ensure that each paragraph opens with a clear topic sentence and that subsequent sentences support the initial claim coherently. This helps maintain a strong focus throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable
  • public healthcare
  • population ageing
  • unaffordable
  • private healthcare provision
  • taxation
  • demographic changes
  • preventative healthcare
  • healthcare financing
  • ethical considerations
  • accessibility
  • affordability
  • public responsibility
  • personal responsibility
  • innovative models
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