New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experi

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a recurring argument that with access to a wide range of new and innovative
technologies
, the way of spending leisure
time
with
children
has changed.
This
writer argues that the benefits of developing problem-solving
skills
and staying connected with family and friends outweigh the drawbacks of sleep disorders. The most advantageous factor of modern
technologies
is their ability to promote learning and
skills
development for
children
. To explain
further
, there is a variety of educational apps and games that can help
children
learn mathematics, science, and language
skills
in a simple, fun, and engaging manner.
Additionally
, video games have the potential to teach
children
problem-solving
skills
, critical thinking, and hand-eye coordination which is essential for their work and study. From prior knowledge, in most developed countries, youngsters are encouraged to interact with technology since the first year of primary education. Keeping in touch with families and friends must
also
be considered. It must be recognised that
technologies
such
as social media, messaging apps, and video chat programs can enhance modes of communication allowing
children
to stay connected with friends and family who live far away from them.
In other words
, those individuals have the ability to send messages
as well as
have video calls through social platforms. Thereby,
children
can stay closer with whom they love.
However
, a few parents believe that
technologies
could pose a risk to the physical and mental health of
children
who get too much screen
time
. They believe that spending too much
time
on devices can cause sleep disorders, which is the consequence of stopping melatonin in our bodies
due to
the blue light.
This
may be true, but by effective parental control, the amount of
time
that
children
spend on technology devices will be reduced. Taking all points into account, the possible impact of
children
have lack of sleep is outweighed by the opportunity to gain vital
skills
and keep in touch with each other.
Hence
, access to technology can be beneficial for kids.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Lexical Resource
Increase the range and accuracy of the vocabulary you use to express your ideas more precisely. Consider incorporating more nuanced language and varied sentence structures.
Task Response
While you have demonstrated your ability to respond to the task appropriately, try to expand your response by considering multiple perspectives. Besides the ones you've discussed, consider briefly acknowledging other potential disadvantages of technology for a more balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. You can do this by using a wider range of linking phrases and words that clearly show the relationship between ideas, thus making your essay easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: