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Band 1.5

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

#damage #countries
Environmental degradation has become an issue in various countries.
This
 causes problems
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 important to find solutions to. There are two main factors that bring about environmental
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
.
First
Change the article
The first
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one
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urbanization
.
One
 of the major impacts of
urbanization
 is the high population density.
This
 problem of high population density is caused
due to
 the heavy rate of migration from rural areas. Another
one
 is
deforestation
. Direct causes of
deforestation
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 infrastructure expansion
such
 as road building and
urbanization
. There are several ways to approach
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
one
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is to improve rural areas.
For example
,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should reconstruct rural areas so people from there would migrate.
Furthermore
, laws against
deforestation
 can be introduced by states to avoid detrimental impacts on the natural habitats of animals and plants. In conclusion, environmental deterioration is ascribed to
urbanization
 and
deforestation
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly introduce the topic in your introduction, offering a brief outline of your main points to come. This helps in providing a stronger foundation for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your main points by using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. This will help in better structuring your arguments and hence, improving coherence.
task achievement
Aim to develop your arguments more comprehensively by adding more details, examples, and explanations. This will greatly assist in making your essay more persuasive and engaging.
task achievement
Improve the variety of your sentence structures and vocabulary. This not only makes your essay more interesting to read but also demonstrates a higher level of English proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your conclusion summarizes the main arguments presented in your essay. This reinforces your points to the reader and makes for a strong finish.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrialization
  • habitat destruction
  • urbanization
  • overpopulation
  • overexploitation
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • waste management
  • fossil fuels
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable agriculture
  • recycling systems
  • international cooperation
  • conservation
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