Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people harbour a belief that national economic success is associated with
work
Use synonyms
time
.Use synonyms
Therefore
,Linking Words
countries
which have long average working hours are economically superior to those without long Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
time
. From my perspective, I am inclined to stand with the sceptics as it is more important to develop promising industries than prolong working hours.
Use synonyms
Initially
, one of the main arguments for its rejection is that long Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
time
does not guarantee the advantages of economic performance. Take Use synonyms
Taiwan
Use synonyms
for example
, employees in Linking Words
Taiwan
only have 17 official days off per year which is much fewer than in most Western Use synonyms
countries
. Use synonyms
However
,no one will deny that the economic development in Western Linking Words
countries
exceeds that in Use synonyms
Taiwan
.
Use synonyms
Thus
, Linking Words
Taiwan
is a salient example which demonstrates Use synonyms
work
hours are not in direct proportion to economic results. Use synonyms
According to
the aforementioned, it is not the Linking Words
time
expenditure that matters in a country's economic growth.
At the other end of the spectrum, a precise vision of future trends will bring about a significant impact on the social economy. Use synonyms
For instance
, the growing tendency of K-pop not only considerably changes the world but Linking Words
also
makes Korean economic status skyrocket. Nowadays, Korea is known for its entertainment industry. Linking Words
Hence
, focusing on industrial enhancements is crucial to improving a country's economy.
Linking Words
To sum up
, long average Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
time
may not be an indispensable factor Use synonyms
to
a country’s economic growth. Change preposition
in
Besides
, prospering industrial development plays a relatively vital role in the improvement of economic success. Linking Words
Thus
, Linking Words
countries
in which employees averagely Use synonyms
work
for a long Use synonyms
time
do not ensure their economic increase.Use synonyms
Submitted by s99104032 on
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Ensure that the introduction briefly outlines your argument and that the conclusion summarises your key points concisely. While you've done this, refining and clarifying your thesis statement would strengthen your argument.
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To bolster your argument, provide more detailed examples and evidence. While the reference to Taiwan and Korea is effective, incorporating additional statistics or studies could further support your claims.
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Your essay has a good structure, showing clear organization of ideas. Enhancing logical flow can be achieved by improving transitions between paragraphs and sentences, ensuring seamless progression of thoughts.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.