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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

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Introduction
In the modern day,
places
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 in harsh
conditions
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 are slowly becoming an attraction for many
tourists
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.
Body paragraph 1
Places
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such
Linking Words
 as the Sahara desert of the Antarctic are visited more and more.
This
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 essay discusses
Body paragraph 2
the
Capitalize the word
The
show examples
 advantages and drawbacks for
tourists
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 who visit
places
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 that are in difficult
conditions
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.
Body paragraph 3
One primary benefit for people travelling to
places
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 with in
conditions
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 is that it can help them learn how to adapt in uneasy or uncomfortable situations. When visiting these types of
places
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, many inconveniences could occur.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
weather
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 may be either too hot or too cold to get used to.
This
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 helps
tourists
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 learn how to be more flexible with harsh situations and adapt to them. To
Body paragraph 4
illustrate, when I went to the Antarctic, it was extremely cold and hard to manage.
However
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, after some time, I started to be able to manage the
weather
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 by understanding what I needed to wear.
Body paragraph 5
As a result
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,
this
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 experience helped me with understanding how to adapt in harsh
weather
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conditions
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.
Body paragraph 6
However
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, there are
also
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 disadvantages for people who visit
places
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 in difficult
conditions
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 as well. One main drawback is that some
places
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 are overly dangerous for
tourists
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.
This
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 could be because the area contains venomous animals, has extreme
weather
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conditions
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, or has other factors.
For instance
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, a rainforest may contain venomous snakes that could easily end a person's life. Though it is beneficial to learn how to adapt in different
conditions
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, some
places
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 are too dangerous to risk our lives.
Body paragraph 7
In conclusion,
tourists
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 travelling to
places
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 in harsh
conditions
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 have both merits and disadvantages.
Conclusion
Visiting these
places
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 can help us learn to adapt in difficult situations. Despite
this
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, some
places
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 may be overly harsh for
tourists
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 to manage, which can be fatally risky.

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task response
You answer both parts of the question. To make your ideas stronger, add one more clear benefit, such as seeing rare views or learning about nature. Explain why this matters for visitors.
task response
Your danger point is clear, but develop it more. Say how tourists can stay safe, for example by going with trained guides, taking the right clothes, and following rules.
task response
The personal story about the Antarctic fits your main idea. However, a more general example may be better in this kind of essay, because it can show how this is true for many tourists.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, benefit, drawback, and conclusion. Keep each body part focused on one main point, as you do here.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not fully clear. For example, change “places with in conditions” to “places with difficult conditions”. Check each sentence for missing or extra words.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. You use “For instance”, “However”, and “As a result” well. You can also use “In addition” when you add a second point.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating “places in difficult conditions” too often. You can also say “such areas”, “these places”, or “extreme places”.
task response
You give a clear benefit and a clear drawback, and both are closely linked to tourists in very hard places.
task response
Your example of very cold weather helps explain how travel can teach people to deal with hard situations.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly tells the reader what the essay will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion brings back the main benefit and the main risk in a clear way.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • breathtaking landscapes
  • unique ecosystems
  • sense of adventure
  • personal growth
  • indigenous cultures
  • environmental conservation
  • climate change
  • environmental degradation
  • economically disadvantaged areas
  • physical health
  • harsh weather
  • difficult terrain
  • limited access to medical facilities
  • fragile ecosystems
  • habitat destruction
  • basic amenities
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