Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In
this
era, a range of options Linking Words
of
therapy are available to be chosen by patients. Change preposition
for
As a result
, a Linking Words
shif
happens as more and more Correct your spelling
shift
people
prefer to opt for Use synonyms
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
Use synonyms
instead
of using conventional Linking Words
medicine
by visiting doctors. From my point of view, it is quite difficult to consider Use synonyms
this
as a positive Linking Words
development
.
First of all, Use synonyms
alternative
treatment and Use synonyms
medicine
are seen as a positive Use synonyms
development
for some Use synonyms
people
as Use synonyms
it
could be provided at a more affordable price than conventional Correct pronoun usage
they
medicine
. Use synonyms
This
option seems to be more feasible for some groups of Linking Words
people
who can not afford conventional treatment Use synonyms
For instance
, chemotherapy for cancer patients usually costs millions Linking Words
Change preposition
of rupiah
rupiah
, Change preposition
of rupiah
whereas
Linking Words
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
sometimes offers the treatment at a price of less than one million rupiah
Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
instead
of curing illnesses, Linking Words
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
could possibly worsen Use synonyms
people
's current condition and even lead to Use synonyms
another
health Correct quantifier usage
other
issue
. Inaccurate assessment given by the therapist Fix the agreement mistake
issues
along with
insufficient risk-benefit analysis are the main reasons why Linking Words
this
happens. Linking Words
For example
, Linking Words
There
are many cases where a patient with diabetes is treated with a herb mixture to decrease the level of blood sugar and ends up collapsing as their blood sugar decreases to the point where It is intolerable. Fix capitalization
there
Also
, Linking Words
sore
researchers have proven that the use of herbs taken as Correct your spelling
some
medicine
. not processed well, could harm the kidney and lead to the Use synonyms
development
of kidney stones.
in conclusion, even though nowadays Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
arque
that Correct your spelling
argue
argued
alternative
Use synonyms
medicine
is a positive Use synonyms
development
Use synonyms
due to
its price. I want to reaffirm my statement that Linking Words
this
phenomenon tends to be negative since it could lead to Linking Words
further
unpredictable health issuesLinking Words
Submitted by ggitasari on
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Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Your essay introduced both sides, but elaborating on why choosing alternative medicine might be seen as a positive development could offer a more balanced discussion. This involves analyzing motivations behind such choices and discussing their potential benefits, not just their affordability.
Coherence & Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim to present ideas in a more connected and fluid manner. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next with the use of suitable linking words. For example, transitions such as 'On the other hand' or 'Conversely' can effectively contrast points between conventional and alternative treatments, enhancing readability and coherence.
Task Achievement
In terms of task response, it would be beneficial to further examine the implications of your arguments. Discussing wider implications of preferring alternative treatments, such as its impact on public health or healthcare systems, can provide a more in-depth analysis and demonstrate your ability to engage critically with the topic.