When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks and sports facilities rather than shopping centers for people to spend their time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#towns #parks #sports #facilities #centers #people #time

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When new cities are planned, it is

Correct quantifier usage

apply

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vitally important to construct more public facilities,

such

Linking Words

as gardens and

sports

Use synonyms

centers

Change the spelling

centres

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, rather than large-scale malls for shopping because citizens spend their free time in those kinds of places. For

this

Linking Words

argument, I totally agree with these concepts since, in

this

Linking Words

disease era, the government needs to pay attention to the health and fitness of its inhabitants.

Firstly

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, there are several reasons to develop

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

centers

Change the spelling

centres

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because nowadays

people

Use synonyms

are more inclined to stay at home

due to

Linking Words

the bad weather conditions and pollution.

Thus

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

do not offer to do outdoor exercises or activities. Gradually,

people

Use synonyms

are less aware of the importance of an active lifestyle. That way, the government should ensure

Change noun form

residents'

resident's

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residents

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residents'

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well-being by constructing luxurious and modernized

sports

Use synonyms

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

such

Linking Words

as large swimming pools, ski fields, stunning parks, and jogging paths.

Thus

Linking Words

, we can encourage citizens to come out and engage with nature and cities rather than

living

Wrong verb form

live

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in their homes.

Secondly

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, in

this

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contemporary era, because of technological advancements,

people

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tend to play virtual games rather than actual activities.

That is

Linking Words

because they considered video games to be more intriguing and advantageous for them.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the cities that they live in might lack public leisure facilities to absorb their energy, which is why they just consume their energy through computer games.

Therefore

Linking Words

, if the authorities can build more amusing

sports

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places, it can obviously reduce the dweller's sedentary lifestyle and prevent diseases. In conclusion, building more activity

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centers

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centres

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can have an abundance of benefits and can build a healthy community for citizens.

For shopping

Change preposition

Shopping

show examples

Use synonyms

centers

Change the spelling

centres

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, it can

also

Linking Words

have certain benefits, but in my opinion, adding more

sports

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centers

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centres

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will outweigh the drawbacks.

Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on Sun Mar 10 2024

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task achievement

Ensure clarity and precision in your arguments. While your essay presents clear viewpoints, refining the language for more precise expression could enhance your argument's impact. Consider avoiding overly general statements by providing more concrete examples and details to support your claims.

coherence cohesion

Structure your essay logically, making sure each paragraph flows into the next seamlessly. To improve coherence, use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will help in making your argument more cohesive and easily understandable.

task achievement

Expand upon and diversify your supporting examples. While your argument benefits from specific scenarios, using a wider range of examples and evidence will strengthen your essay. Consider incorporating statistics, facts, or studies related to health benefits and social impacts of public sports facilities versus shopping centers.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks and sports facilities rather than shopping centers for people to spend their time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area.

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Nowadays artificial intelligence is being used to drive cars. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

Some people argue that companies and private individual rather than government should pay the bills of pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?