“Prison is the only truly effective form of punishment, because it separates criminals from society.” To what extent do you support this view? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#“prison #form #punishment #criminals #society #support

Some argue that imprisonment is an effective method to punish bad people, in

this

way, they can be separated in the community.

This

essay completely agrees with

this

statement because

this

can help decrease crimes and

this

can

also

help to change their behavior.

To begin

with, isolating bad people from the community can help lower the number of crimes in society. Putting them in prison lowers the number of offenders on the street because it removes their freedom to do anything they want, especially their urge to do bad things.

Also

this

can help cut their ties with other criminals.

As a result

, less crime will be committed.

For instance

, incarcerating drug lords can help decrease the supply of drugs. If all of them are in prison,

then

the problems with drugs can be solved.

Thus

, imprisonment is an effective form to decrease crime rates.

in addition

to that, jailing them can help manage their bad behaviours. In prison, prisoners are given a chance to study, have recreational activities, and attend bible study. These activities can help them change their bad behaviours and help them start a new life after their confinement.

For instance

, prisoners in the Philippines are taught how to make bags and purses.

This

livelihood activity is intended to help them earn income in a good way.

Thus

this

method can be useful in transforming their bad actions into good ones. In conclusion, incarceration is an effective penalty for criminals. I believe

this

can help in curbing the crimes and

also

with changing their unwanted behaviours.

Submitted by yoko.onerom on Sun Mar 10 2024

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task response

Ensure a clear stance throughout the essay and avoid contradicting statements which may confuse readers. Your position on the topic should guide the development of ideas.

task response

Instead of using 'bad people,' a more formal and specific term such as 'offenders' or 'criminals' would elevate the formality of your essay and improve clarity.

coherence and cohesion

Use a wider variety of conjunctions and cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs. This enhances the logical flow and readability of your essay.

task achievement

Develop paragraphs with a clear main idea supported by specific examples. While examples are provided, elaborating on their relevance and impact enhances the argumentative strength of the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Correct minor grammatical errors and use a variety of complex sentence structures to improve the grammatical range and accuracy.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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