“Prison is the only truly effective form of punishment, because it separates criminals from society.” To what extent do you support this view? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Some argue that imprisonment is an effective method to punish bad people, in
this
way, they can be separated in the community.
This
essay completely agrees with
this
statement because
this
can help decrease crimes and
this
can
also
help to change their behavior.
To begin
with, isolating bad people from the community can help lower the number of crimes in society. Putting them in prison lowers the number of offenders on the street because it removes their freedom to do anything they want, especially their urge to do bad things.
Also
,
this
can help cut their ties with other criminals.
As a result
, less crime will be committed.
For instance
, incarcerating drug lords can help decrease the supply of drugs. If all of them are in prison,
then
the problems with drugs can be solved.
Thus
, imprisonment is an effective form to decrease crime rates.
in addition
to that, jailing them can help manage their bad behaviours. In prison, prisoners are given a chance to study, have recreational activities, and attend bible study. These activities can help them change their bad behaviours and help them start a new life after their confinement.
For instance
, prisoners in the Philippines are taught how to make bags and purses.
This
livelihood activity is intended to help them earn income in a good way.
Thus
,
this
method can be useful in transforming their bad actions into good ones. In conclusion, incarceration is an effective penalty for criminals. I believe
this
can help in curbing the crimes and
also
with changing their unwanted behaviours.
Submitted by yoko.onerom on

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task response
Ensure a clear stance throughout the essay and avoid contradicting statements which may confuse readers. Your position on the topic should guide the development of ideas.
task response
Instead of using 'bad people,' a more formal and specific term such as 'offenders' or 'criminals' would elevate the formality of your essay and improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider variety of conjunctions and cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs. This enhances the logical flow and readability of your essay.
task achievement
Develop paragraphs with a clear main idea supported by specific examples. While examples are provided, elaborating on their relevance and impact enhances the argumentative strength of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Correct minor grammatical errors and use a variety of complex sentence structures to improve the grammatical range and accuracy.
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