IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

ome people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people remarked that students should include culinary training in their academic program.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people believe that only the most significant
subjects
Use synonyms
 should be covered. In my opinion, I believe the first perspective is the most paramount for the mental growth of students because it lays the foundation for adult life. It might take a
while
Linking Words
, but it is possible.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives and present evidence to support the claims. Learning about food art at a young age will aid children get ready for the future. In simple terms, they will demonstrate these skills in their marriages. It will definitely assist them in preparing elaborate meals.
Example
Change preposition
For example
show examples
: Steamed fish,
for example
Linking Words
, needs to be prepared with professional skills, so it is best to practice beforehand.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it will improve the lives of the couple.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the stability of the couple will be assessed based on the quality of reflection from both partners.
However
Linking Words
, instructing culinary skills in schools requires a large amount of time.
Due to
Linking Words
 the abundance of crucial
subjects
Use synonyms
 like languages and math that are essential for the intellectual growth of sophomores, including
subjects
Use synonyms
 like local cuisines is definitely unnecessary and will have negative impacts on students.
For instance
Linking Words
, in secondary school, there are usually seven challenging
subjects
Use synonyms
 to manage each semester.
Hence
Linking Words
, adding one more is a significant challenge for youth.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the performance of young individuals may decrease, making it challenging for many of them to overcome
this
Linking Words
 setback.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the weight of following strict eating habits can be burdensome, it is truly beneficial for enhancing both mental and social well-being.
That is
Linking Words
 the reason I suggest incorporating cooking modules into the educational system.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and avoid including too many arguments in one paragraph.
introduction conclusion present
While the introduction and conclusion are effectively present, try to make the conclusions more summarized and the introduction a bit more engaging or direct.
relevant specific examples
Try to include more detailed and varied examples to substantiate your points more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear and coherent introduction and conclusion which effectively frame the discussion.
complete response
Your essay addresses both views and provides a well-balanced discussion of each perspective.
supported main points
Main points are generally well supported, making your arguments clearer and more persuasive.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: